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Puppetry of the Penis

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PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS

…or as it’s called in Australia—
Australian Genital Origami:
The amazing flexibility of the human penis, testicles and scrotum

By Marla Santos

“The penis is the most beautiful part of the anatomy and there’s too much shame attached to it. This show makes a mockery of that, as it should.”—Simon Morley (brainchild of “PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS”)

So you’re all geeked about seeing some penises! Hilarious, but true. PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS is a jaw-dropping, comedic event that will make for polite (and sometimes not so perfectly polite) conversation on your ride home.

The ideal opening act, Kristeen Von Hagen, is a female comedian who is the warm-up act for the show, revving up the audience in preparation to open their minds and get ready for even more laughter to come. Her wonderfully twisted look from the female perspective helped in opening the Toronto show, as well, and aptly sets the pace for the night.

Okay, ready, set…penis! The show starts—Fitchy and Rich, the penis puppeteers, appear on stage with blue velvet spangled capes, big smiles and no pants. The audience is ready, and without further ado, off come the capes revealing the two men in their birthday suits. After a short warm-up of jumping jacks, Rich reveals the first “Dick Trick”: the “Woman.” The audience roars nervously, but by the second “Dick Trick” with comedy interspersed, people are roaring with laughter. The Jewel Box Theater makes for a wonderfully intimate showroom, so that the audience can get relatively close-up to the tricks. But did we forget to mention all the while during each limberly stretched dick trick, the penises are getting their “close-ups” on a giant video screen just behind them. “IMAX penis!” is what Simon Morley calls it. So each and every twisting trick can be seen up-close-and-personal on the giant high-quality video screen.

Fitchy and Rich headline the Vegas show, which recently opened inside The Jewel Box Theater inside the Erotic Heritage Museum, and they entertain the audience with more than 40 hilarious origami installations, including the “Pelican” the “Loch Ness Monster” and “The Kardashian”. The reaction on people’s faces in the audience, as they see two penises enlarged on a large screen are ridiculously funny, and even the people who are somewhat shocked, can’t contain their laughter.

PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS is the brainchild of Simon Morley, an Australian mate who decided that playing with your penis could be “Art”. The oldest of four very competitive brothers, his youngest sibling showed him his first genital trick. The rivalry to compete ended up with a healthy repertoire of genital configurations now known as “Dick Tricks”. In 1996, Simon decided he wanted to document the Dick Tricks, and thought it would be perfect on a highbrow art calendar showcasing 12 of his favorite penis installations. In 1997, with a garage full of calendars titled “Puppetry of the Penis”, and mounting requests for live appearances, Simon finally decided to unleash his talent, or legendary Dick Tricks, on the world. Along with David “Friendly” Friend, also from Australia, the two became partners and performed over 20,000 penis tricks to over 1,525,000 people in 35 different countries and in five different languages.

We met up with puppeteer Fitchy, (pictured on the right) after the show. Fitchy is another Australian mate who has been performing in the show for over 12 years. He was friendly, open, and happy to answer our very pertinent questions.

STRIPLV: Do your friends and family back in Melbourne know what you do?
FITCHY: Yeah, yeah—yeah, oh yeah! They all know what I do. I’ve toured around Australia with the show, done it around Europe, the U.K., Scandinavia, as well.
STRIPLV: You’ve been in the show for quite a while. What year did you start?
FITCHY: I started the show in 2003.
STRIPLV: Tell me how that came about.
FITCHY: I knew about the show and I knew they were looking for puppeteers. I was in-between jobs at the time, and went to the audition. They seemed to like me and asked me to do a recall audition and I that’s where I met Friendly, the other originator of the show. He and the other producers thought I was okay, and shortly afterwards, I did a couple of week’s rehearsals, and have been doing the show on and off since then.
STRIPLV: Had you been doing any of these Dick Tricks before you went to the audition?
FITCHY: I’d messed around and done a couple of silly things, like stretching the scrotum, doing the “woman”, but nothing particular from the ones in the show. Yeah, I’d shuffled a few tricks before, but I’d never shown them to too many people though. I didn’t have a problem with nudity or performing on stage.
STRIPLV: What was that first time on stage like for you?
FITCHY: It was great. I’m a performer anyway, so it was fun being up there. It was in the U.K. and we had two sellout shows in one day. Unfortunately, the camera went down at the beginning of the show, the technician was running up and down the aisles and the girls were getting all excited, and I was less nervous about being naked than getting the tricks right. I wanted to perform the tricks accurately enough that they would enjoy them. I bantered with the girls to calm down, they got the camera fixed and then it was fine. It was a good show in front of 800 people, then we did a second one for another 800 people, and that was my introduction to Penis Puppetry.
STRIPLV: Your fellow puppeteer, Rich, is circumcised, but you are not. Does not being circumcised make it easier to perform some of the tricks?
FITCHY: Yes, being uncircumcised does. It allows me to do things like “The Eiffel Tower” and “The Baby Bird” when you use more foreskin—depending on how much you do and how much you have on your shaft, as well. Simon Morley is circumcised and yet he can do some of those tricks. Friendly, as well, can do them. Doing the show so often stretches things slightly, so you can do more. But yes, it’s easier for me to do those certain tricks than it is for Rich. Everyone’s equipment varies slightly, so everyone can do a couple of the tricks. It’s not necessarily down to the size, the length or whatever. 

STRIPLV: Has handling your penis every night caused you to become less sensitive?
FITCHY: No! (laughing) it hasn’t decreased sensitivity. And, if it did slightly, it helps with holding during sex, so it might benefit a woman. Everything works absolutely fine! We get that question: “Does it still work?” almost every night.
STRIPLV: Are you straight or gay and what are most of the men who come to audition?
FITCHY: I am straight. I think it’s a mixture of people [the audiences] here in Vegas. Generally most places in the world, there are more women. In Europe it’s a bit more balanced, and in the U.K. far more women, Australia has more women. Here in Vegas there’s been a nice mixture of men and women and gay and straight men. Men aren’t sure what to expect, but they’re enjoying it—when they get there and it’s not really puppets, just a naked man. Gay men get to see a lot of cocks, so it’s not as much of a surprise to them, but women haven’t seen as many and haven’t seen them stretched so much and many straight men haven’t thought to do it either. Audition-wise, more straight men audition, as far as I’m aware. I can’t speak for everywhere, but I’ve helped with auditions and it’s not a gay show for gay people, but for everyone. We don’t want just women coming to the show. We want everyone to come and see the crazy things we do with our genitals. Come and have a laugh. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, or bi, it’s for everyone. Don’t be offended—just have an open mind. We’re not sexual, just pure fun, just two guys on stage making shapes out of our genitals.
STRIPLV: Do both women and men proposition you after the show?
FITCHY: Occasionally. It doesn’t happen all that often. There’s a bit of banter, a bit of flirting, but not especially. I’ve met a few ladies after the show, but I wouldn’t say that a lot of people that come to the show flirt with us. We had some strippers in last week. We come out after the show and they can check us out and see what we look like.
STRIPLV: What advice would you give someone who is coming to audition for the show?
FITCHY: Be brave, be open and warm up and stretch. Hopefully you can practice some tricks beforehand or you’ll be taught some at the audition. Get comfortable with what you’ve got. Look online and try to do the “Hamburger”. Just have fun with it and enjoy it.
STRIPLV: Is the “Hamburger” one of the more difficult tricks?
FITCHY: It’s not that tricky. It’s just one of the better known ones. It was one of the first ones created by the Morley brothers in Simon’s family. It’s just the twisting part to the 90 degree, but it doesn’t hurt.
STRIPLV: Vegas is a great city for the show. What reactions are you getting?
FITCHY: We’re getting some great reactions. They’ve told us that their jaws are aching from laughing, or they’re going to practice with their husbands. We had a guy last night who bought the book with instructions on how to do the tricks, and he couldn’t wait to give it to the boys and letting them start to play.
STRIPLV: What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?
FITCHY: I enjoy theater, movies, comedy in general, exercise, and trying to keep fit.
STRIPLV: What turns you on?
FITCHY: A good sense of humor, an attractive body and a smile is a wonderful thing.
STRIPLV: What turns you off?
FITCHY: Arrogant, disrespectful people.

PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS performs Wednesdays through Mondays at 8:00pm at The Jewel Box Theater inside The Erotic Heritage Museum located at 3275 Industrial Road, Las Vegas, 89109 • PuppetryOfThePenis.com

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