Cathy Zukimoto is a hilarious stand-up comedian who performs to sold-out crowds all over Los Angeles. As a “freshly single” woman with a statuesque physique and a gorgeous girl-next-door smile, she captivates her audience, while delivering edgy comedy and explosive laughter. On stage, she is uninhibited, raw, and looks as if she had just stepped off of a Sunset Boulevard billboard. Today however, she is very casual, wearing a “Believe us… size does matter” fitted tee, oversized sunglasses and jeans. We chatted in the ambiance of Aroma Café…
DK: What brought you to stand-up comedy in the first place?
CATHY: I was drawn to comedy because my insurance ran out and I needed therapy. Kidding. Although, I did have a tough time when I was younger. Not my parents, they’re great! I dealt with racism at an early age – teased for being Asian. Then as girls were developing, and I clearly wasn’t, things changed. Now the teasing was about being tall, skinny, and flat-chested. I was called ugly a lot, and even got dog biscuits thrown at me. In high school, I was never asked out on a single date or dance. Not even prom. I guess being in band didn’t help… I diffused the taunting by making people laugh. I guess it made it a little harder for the kids to tease me when they were cracking up??? I never thought I would ever be making people laugh on stage, because I’m
DK: Wait a minute, stop right there. You tell blowjob jokes in front of a room full of strangers. You’re shy!?!
CATHY: YES, I’m actually really shy. I never thought I could perform, because I had terrible stage fright. I also had this handshaking issue that I thought would never go away.
DK: You definitely don’t look shy on stage, but I’ll take your word for it.
CATHY: (laughs) I don’t think you believe me!
DK: Hard to believe, because I know you do nude shoots.
CATHY: One of my nude shots I did with Chad Michael Ward for a Metallica-themed art show just sold for 1K! And I have a bondage shot in a photo book by Justice Howard!
DK: But you’re supposedly shy….
CATHY: Okay, okay—admittedly, doing stand-up has helped me come out of my shell.
DK: Were you always interested in stand-up?
CATHY: When I was a little kid, my Mom used to call me ummaku, which I found out years later is basically Okinawan for “smart ass”. So I guess you could say I have always enjoyed being a goofball. I had always wanted to give stand-up a try. So I wrote some jokes and I read them to my husband and he said, “I think you should stick to filmmaking,” so I dropped it. Years later, I met Bobbie Oliver at a comedy show and told her I loved stand-up, but could never imagine doing it. She told me about her comedy classes and encouraged me to give it a try. I was going through a divorce at the time, so he wasn’t around to tell me not to… so I was like, “Fuck it, why not?” I loved the class, but didn’t realize there was a showcase at the end… My first show was sold out and I was terrified!! There were a couple of producers in the audience who approached me for more shows. I hadn’t planned to do more, but why turn down these opportunities just because I’m scared? So I went with it, and I am so grateful for every request I get from these amazing people in my life. I am very blessed.
DK: Getting kind of spiritual here…
CATHY: Sorry, should I talk about my BJ jokes?
DK: Speaking of that, let’s ask what the guys want to know. When it comes to dating, what are you looking for?
CATHY: First of all, I have always said: “Love is a gift. The wrapping shouldn’t matter.” I’m not bi, but I wouldn’t want to miss the potential of meeting the love of my life just because she happens to be a girl. To be clear, I love cock and I’m not seeking a female relationship, but hey, I wouldn’t rule it out, either.
DK: I swear I learn more about you every time we hang out. From your Cougar jokes, it seems you date young models?
CATHY: (laughs) OK, first of all, who says no to a model?? This whole cougar phenomenon has been really working in my favor. Most male models have mommy issues – I am totally willing to help them out with those. I’ve also dated comics and realized that dating a comic equals being a fulltime baggage handler.
DK: Are you actually “routining” me right now? Your own friend?
CATHY: Busted! Yes, I’m sorry. OK, I don’t have a specific type. I’ve dated people of all ages and all different body types. I will admit I’m a HUGE Duran Duran fan, so English men have a fast pass to the V… I mean, my heart. I’m very attracted to creative types—photographers, writers, actors, singers, painters, etc. I also love nerdy guys, because I’m a huge Sci-Fi fan.
DK: You’re into Sci-Fi?
CATHY: I go to the conventions! I’m a huge frickin’ fan of Battle Star Galactica, Firefly, Star Wars, and I love all comic-related movies! I wore a Captain America T-Shirt when I saw Captain America, on a first date! I guess I’m kind of a dork?
DK: Kind of? (sigh) What would you describe as a perfect date?
CATHY: I enjoy any event that supports local artists. I’d end the night at a quiet bar, because I hate places where you can’t hear the person sitting next to you. As a blanket release, I say to anyone dating a comic: be prepared to become a part of their routine.