SEX and SIN CITY
by Lilith Diana
GUESS HER MUFF
Sex and Sin City is an ongoing feature by STRIPLV writer, Lilith Diana, as she shares with us her spunky and erotic look into her sometimes informational, sometimes steamy moments and thoughts on sex.
I recently went to the doctor for my annual checkup. Whenever this appointment sneaks up on me, I always make sure that everything going on with my bush is under control. Usually, I sport some hair down there. I don’t have a full bush by any means, but I’m definitely not bald. I have a trimmed, large triangle of hair. Ash never complains, because I keep it clean and trimmed, but knowing that many girls today sport very little hair, if any hair at all, I do get a little self-conscious when exposing my goods to someone other than Ash, even if it is someone who’s in the medical field; someone who hopefully has very little judgement about my bush. But it got me thinking: I wonder if when my doctor sees my bush, she assumes that I am a certain type of girl. Are there stigmas associated with the different ways girls wear their pussy hair? I started thinking about these questions with little insight, but I knew exactly where to turn for some answers. Have you ever heard of Vaginacology.com? If you haven’t, let me introduce you to your next favorite adult Internet game. It’s called “Guess Her Muff”. The game play is simple, however, mastering it may be more difficult than expected. So here’s how you play: Vaginacology.com shows you pictures of women with their clothes on and gives you a group of style options in how a typical woman may shave her pussy, i.e. Shaved/Waxed, Trimmed, Landing Strip, Patch, Bald. You simply select your “Guess Her Muff” answer and submit it to see the photo reveal the unclothed woman, to see if you’ve guessed correctly. Based on the game, you’d think that there’d have to be some stereotypes and personality traits associated with the way a woman sports her muff. So I asked Rob Peters of Vaginacology.com about their pussy-hair options, and whether people can really, somewhat scientifically, “Guess Her Muff” based on the clothed photos of the women on their site. Right off the bat, he offered this insight: “I don’t believe that there are, necessarily, physical characteristics that offer an insight to how a woman may be wearing her pubic hair,” he said. “I do believe, based on my experience, both personally and pictorially, that a woman’s pussy is a reflection of her as a whole – not just of her style or preferences, but of her life, and less of her sexuality or sensuality.” Here’s what he had to say about each style, while giving some insight on the women that sport these styles:
Natural/Hairy: “A hairy, natural pussy is often perceived by men as something that shows a woman doesn’t care or is unconcerned by the appearance of her pussy. They also attribute it to a woman who is older, cougars and GILFs, and to women of many foreign cultures. …While those stereotypes may often be correct, the typical woman who goes au naturel is one who is busy, has a full life, priorities, and greater concerns. This will include working wives and mothers, busy professionals, travelers. It’s certainly not a sign of neglect – it’s just not high on the list of things to get done. So you’ll find them groomed about the edges, more often than not, but sporting that full, luscious bush. Another, smaller subset of the hairy/natural pussy are the non-conformists who aren’t about to have society tell them it must be bald. These women will usually place less effort into trimmed edges and allow it to grow as it will – arguably the hippies, tree-huggers, and assorted free spirits, and very often indie artists and musicians.”
Trimmed: “A trimmed pussy is the high maintenance/low maintenance to the woman that would leave it natural, except that she doesn’t like all the hair. Most men will attribute it to soccer moms and long-time wives. These women are usually busy women, who care about their appearance, but lack time or energy to do a high-maintenance shave or wax all the time. Many times a trimmed woman will float back and forth between bald and trimmed – going bald and allowing a time for regrowth, while maintaining it themselves with trimmers or scissors. Sometimes this group includes the ‘wildcard’ of single women in a dating dry spell, who keep a lower maintenance schedule while there is no expectation of them being bald.”
Bald: “A bald pussy is seen by most men as the ‘norm.’ They also see it as a high-maintenance option. That’s usually incorrect – once bald, it’s easier and often more comfortable to keep it bald. The actual time maintaining a bald pussy is often lower. Many go right to professionals for waxing, and do little, if any, of the maintenance themselves. Most of the women in this category are active, sexually active, social and dating. They’re holding onto the expectation that they assume society has; a vast majority of bald muffs fall in the 18-35-year-old demographic.”
Landing Strip: “The landing strip pussy, in reality, is the higher-maintenance option. Most women will do this themselves, and they pay a great deal of attention to it. The lines will be straight, the shaved areas smooth, the length and width even at all times and the hairs trimmed to a ‘proper’ length. There’s a great attention to detail in a landing strip, and it’s often the reflection of the woman’s attention to her appearance. These women often display a greater outward self-esteem. While most women who are sporting the landing strip do it solely for their own preference, men view it as a playful, kinky and inviting message – like ‘Follow me to the valley of all happiness.’”
Patch: “The patch option for the pubic hair is a grey area. Patches can be a little undefined. There are many shapes, widths and lengths that can fall into this category, for example: Jenna Jameson and her “V” shape, a small circle above the labia or a giant square floating below the navel. I was surprised once with a four-leaf clover, dyed green even. Similar to the landing strip, the patch takes time, effort and more maintenance. Unlike the landing strip, the patch muff is a sign of a playful nature, rather than purely pride in appearance. The patch is the ‘score’ moment with many men. When you put your hand into a woman’s pants and feel her skin, you think ‘Bald,’ or maybe think ‘Oh damn, there’s not a landing strip,’ and then you move down a little further and feel that little patch of hair under your fingertips, and you’re immediately surprised, thinking, ‘Oh yeah, someone’s frisky.’”
Vajazzled: “A vajazzled muff, in so far as we use the term, is most often found on the outgoing, sexual, less-inhibited or even extroverted woman. It’s fun and kinky, and usually, so is she. There’s a moment in a guy’s mind that, when he finds a clit piercing, screams: ‘I’m about to get fucked like a porn star!’ The biggest misconception that men have in this area is the woman herself. Men will look at the inked and pierced women, those with sleeves, or several prominent piercings, and leap to the conclusion that she’s vajazzled. I’ve come across so many more ‘soccer-mom’ types with a vajazzled muff than I have rockabilly, goth or punk women with it.”
Personally, I would fall into what Vaginacology.com considers a Trimmed Muff, and I sport my hair this way for a few reasons. First of all, I have very sensitive skin, and I think trimmed hair is a lot sexier than razor burn. Second of all, I like some hair there. I don’t want to go au naturel, but I don’t mind some trimmed hair. And third of all, and maybe most embarrassingly of all, maintaining a certain look has never been something I’ve excelled at. I need low maintenance routines, and this goes for the hair on my head, my eyebrows, my nails, etc. I, of course, want to look good. I want to be put together, attractive, and feel good, but I have found ways to do that with a minimal maintenance routine, which makes the Trimmed Muff work for me. So I was curious if others fit into these categories. So, in the name of research (I love my job!), I asked a couple of my Twitter friends how they wear their hair and why. Moxxie Maddron, VIP bartender at the Palomino Gentlemen’s Club and former porn star, said that she sports a small triangle because she “likes the smooth feeling ... nothing to come between my body and whatever is touching it.” Athena Pleasures, an adult actress, said she keeps hers bald for a couple reasons: “When I’m having sex, I like to be able to see everything. It’s quick and easy to take care of, and I did laser hair removal when I was younger, so not much grows there or I would probably have a patch now that I am older. But when I was younger, I didn’t want any hair, and I still don’t really like hair. I like it smooth.” I received another response from a follower, @sherlock2871, who also made an interesting point. He said, “It’s similar to wearing a hairstyle, I would guess. It’s a statement about the inner you.” And I agree. Some people like long hair, some people like short. Some people like to dye their hair, some people just like highlights. Some want something super easy, while others want a style they have to do everyday. It’s all just personal preference, and it’s really about what makes you feel good and what works for you in your life. At least for me, pussy hair is the same way. Rob explained: “I will say, to any women reading this, that your pussy is a reflection of you. It’s beautiful and unique, and it’s yours. You should worry less about what may be expected of it, and of you, and do what you feel is right and comfortable for you and for your own reasons. You may well be surprised by how much a man or woman likes it.”
XOXO, Lilith Diana Sin City Sex Blog
For more from our “Sex and Sin City” author Lilith,
like strip club reviews, sexy events in Sin City, and a peek into her own sex life,
visit: SinCitySexBlog.com and follow her on Twitter@LilithDiana.