SEX ADDICTION IS REAL
AND HOLLYWOOD ISN’T HELPING
Sorry Dakota, Shia, Leonardo and others. Your “Hollywood” depictions of sexual addicts aren’t helping a large segment of our population, which truly and legitimately suffer from sexual addictions. These glamorized images show some downfalls for nooky-obsessed masses, but do they actually do more harm than good? You can make the same analysis with full-on drug addicts. Do you think seeing Leonardo DiCaprio blowing cocaine up a slut’s ass in The Wolf of Wall Street deters drug use? Or does it make the addict want to blow coke up someone’s rump and/or tempt him or her to do both, and maybe hire a prostitute on the side?
Logic does dictate that no two-hour movie, whipped up by the glitterati over in L.A., can create or cause someone to become a sexual addict. The goofy glamorization of those who we see on the silver screen more than likely just doesn’t help the case for those who are truly suffering from a sex addiction. The depression, fear, and anxiety that a true addict has to go through on a daily basis doesn’t match up with the images portrayed by the fantasy makers. True addicts ruin relationships, families, and ultimately themselves.
Sex addiction and its diagnoses have become big business. Over the past decade, the number of groups added to Sexual Addicts Anonymous have grown by over ten percent. Yet on the moviemaking radar, being a sexual addict is romanticized much like Warren Beatty was back in his heyday. Why does Anastasia let herself be stalked by the atypical serial killer in 50 Shades, much like Kim Bassinger did in Nine ½ Weeks? A strong, dominant lover is attractive to the masses, yet for those that admit to being sexual predators, this portrayal could be very damaging. Those that admit to sexual addiction say that their addiction isn’t a substance or a drink; it is the flesh of a human body. They use any compliment, real or made up, to lure another partner into yet another sexual tryst. It is something in this modern age of selfies, snapchats, and instagrams that we should be mindful of. Consensual BDSM and hot sex are something that should be celebrated, but not glamorized. With the creation of “no strings hookup” sex apps such as Tinder, those that do suffer from sexual addiction have easier access to random partners now more than ever before.
In fact, many sex addicts who are men confess to seeking out other male partners, not because they are attracted to other men, but because finding a casual hookup man-to-man is just easier than finding a female mate for the night.
Yes, we all crave sex, and we all want more of it. That is nothing for the general population to worry about. The bigger question of course is when you should worry.
• You feel powerless over how you act sexually.
• Your sexual choices are making your life unmanageable.
• You feel shame, embarrassment or even self-loathing over
your sexual acts.
• You promise yourself you’ll change, but fail to keep those
• You’re so preoccupied with sex, it becomes like a ritual to you.
• The negative consequences of your behavior are getting
worse and worse.
The tragic part of those that battle with this disease is that their trigger is all around them. They don’t have to go somewhere or check in with a dealer to get their high. The flesh is always around to tempt them. A recent article delved into this subject in GQ, and the author interviewed a few recovered addicts, inquiring about what recovery felt like, and one of the women interviewed e-mailed the writer after the fact, describing what being a sex addict feels like. She wrote:
“During our interview I had three instances where I imagined what it would be like to seduce you and have sex with you. Your being married didn’t help matters. I’m really starting to see how married men are a trigger with me. As I had these thoughts, I knew how inappropriate it was, and if it weren’t for therapy, I wouldn’t have recognized it, and I certainly wouldn’t have stopped myself. Yet even with my own awareness, the old way of thinking crept in and I actually wanted to do it, even though it was inappropriate—and I wouldn’t have cared how it impacted you… I’m much more mindful of how I impact others now.”
Most laugh-off the diagnosis of being a sex addict, and even psychologists are now coining the term hypersexuality, to remove some of the stigmatism that goes along with the disease. Most admit however, that researchers are a bit blind in terms of research, on how to combat this type of addiction.
Back in 2010, researchers tried to get hypersexual disorder included in the bible of psychiatric diagnoses, which was about to be updated for the first time in over twenty years. The request was denied, and as a result, those facing this disease are unable to get coverage for it under their health insurance. Researchers work to get more funding for studies on how to treat and ultimately find a cure for those suffering from this condition. Until then, for more information, you can visit: saa-recovery.org.