BY LILITH DIANA
Sex and Sin City is an ongoing feature by STRIPLV writer, Lilith Diana, as she shares with us her spunky and erotic look into her sometimes informational, sometimes steamy moments and thoughts on sex.
Ash and I have tried going to strip clubs with friends, specifically couples, outside of the adult industry in the past, but rarely has it been a good situation.
At first, the couple sounds really into it. “Yeah, this will be a blast,” and both the male and female genuinely seem interested in having a good time. But when we actually get to the club, it instantly becomes clear, that neither the guy, nor girl, are going to have a good time.
The first time this happened was a couple years ago. We had some friends who claimed to be in an “open” relationship. We weren’t interested in swapping or doing anything sexual with them, but we thought going to a strip club with them might be fun. Unfortunately, it was not fun at all. The girl sat with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face the whole time. But it wasn’t just her that was awkward. While the girl and Ash shared a cigarette, her guy proceeded to get really weird and jealous toward Ash. Since we took them to a strip club where we knew bouncers, cocktail waitresses and dancers, we were embarrassed by our company and decided to leave as soon as we realized that the night was not going to get better.
It took us until just a little while ago to try going back to a strip club with another couple. And apparently, we didn’t learn our lesson the first time.
A few days before we all met at a strip club, we met up with this couple at a bar. Let’s call them April and Jim. At this point, we didn’t have plans to go to the club. But we were all drinking and shooting the shit, and it came out that April was into females, and not only did she like girls, but she was very comfortable in her skin (or so it seemed) and was very open about talking about sex. Her boyfriend Jim seemed just as comfortable. So Ash mentioned that we had plans to go to a strip club soon and asked if they would want to come with us. Of course, Jim was down – what guy doesn’t want to go to a booby bar? And April sounded genuinely interested as well. As we all discussed the details, I pulled April aside just to feel her out a bit more. I specifically told her about our past experience – I explained how the last girlfriend we went with seemed excited and comfortable about going, but then once we were there, she was completely uncomfortable and not excited in the slightest. April totally laughed at the thought and said she would never be that way. (Ha! Yeah, right.)
So a few days later, we met at the club. We decided to meet in the parking lot to all walk in together, and as soon as we saw her get out of the car, it was clear there was either a problem or April was uncomfortable. But both Ash and I just brushed it off, hoping that things would get better after a cocktail. As you can imagine, things did not get better. Jim was fine. He seemed to be enjoying the conversation and the atmosphere, but April never loosened up. We tried including her in conversations, buying her drinks – I even tried bullshitting with her one-on-one. Nothing was pulling her out of her mood. So eventually, we just stopped trying. After all, there were plenty of fun women around that were comfortable in their skin – and weren’t wearing much more than their skin.
The frustrating thing about the situation was I specifically tried having a conversation about women who do this, and she just laughed it off, assuring me that she would be just fine. That, unfortunately, was far from the reality. And the whole point of me pulling her aside from her man was in case she was just putting on a “I’m-a-cool-girlfriend” face for her boyfriend. I get it, but we would completely understand if someone wasn’t comfortable with going to a strip club. The scene is certainly not for everyone and/or every couple. In fact, I would have more respect for that person and couple for being open and honest. I feel openness and honesty have to go both ways – what you’re into and what you’re not into – and you should feel comfortable expressing both to your partner. And really, Ash and I don’t mind going to strip clubs alone. Actually, we’d rather get down ‘n dirty around strangers, than people we know. But occasionally, we meet cool people and think, “Oh, I bet we’d have fun at a strip club with them.” But we’ve learned that the thought is much better than the reality.
So I guess no matter how open and comfortable our friends seem, no matter how much we try to feel them out and no matter how much they say they want to go, our friends and strip clubs just don’t go together, which, ultimately, is not a bad thing. Ash and I manage just fine on our own. Lesson learned.