SEX and SIN CITY - 50 Shades of Embarrassing


By Lilith Diana


Sex and Sin City is an ongoing feature by SLV writer, Lilith Diana, as she shares with us her spunky and erotic look into her sometimes informational, sometimes steamy moments and  thoughts on sex.

Yes, yes.  I jumped on the “Fifty Shades of Grey” bandwagon.  But I didn’t just jump, I did a full-on nosedive into the series.  I could hardly pull myself away from them.  It is a little embarrassing how much I engulfed myself into the story.  I realized this wasn’t great literature, but I never thought I was opening a new great work.  I was reading a naughty story.  And boy, did I read the shit out of that smut.  I stayed up way too late reading.  I spent my lunch hours reading.  I read in my car, in the bathroom.  I couldn’t tear myself away from those damn books.

It actually took me awhile to start the series.  They have become such a pop-culture sensation, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it.  To be honest, I didn’t know much about it.  Of course I had heard different remarks on TV, and I had obviously heard people talking about it, but all I knew was that it focused on a BDSM lifestyle.  And everything I heard about them made me think that I was going to be traumatized by the sex scenes.  I’m not into the BDSM lifestyle, and although I definitely don’t judge people who are, and especially those who are responsibly, I didn’t know if I wanted to read about it.

But a couple weeks ago, my aunt (someone I consider an edgy vanilla) started reading the first book, and she was loving it.  Having an insider opinion — not a review from the Internet or commentary from the ladies of The View — persuaded me, that perhaps, I did want to give this book a try.

Well, as it turned out, I was not traumatized at all.  In fact, I was quite turned on.  Yes, the books focus on a man who enjoys a Dominant/Submissive relationship, but the BDSM sex scenes are really minimal.  And with the exception of one or two tame (I imagine, anyway) BDSM sex scenes, even the “kinky fuckery” — the spanking, use of toys, the dominance of the sexy main character and the music — was hot!  Ash would often find me reading and he’d stick his fingers down my panties, gauging how hot the book made me.  I was constantly wet and very wet.

I’m not going to go into the plot, or review it, or anything like that, but what I will say is that, although the writing wasn’t great and I know for fact that many people out there are bashing this book, I have to say that I think it’s great that a book like this can get so much exposure and create a dialogue around sex, and not just sex, BDSM sex.

Before this book, I can, with 100 percent certainty, say that I have never had a conversation with my girlfriends about a flogger or crop and the fact that that might be fun and maybe even a turn-on.  But this book started the conversation, and it’s not that shocking or embarrassing anymore.  Granted, I would like to think that I have an open mind when it comes to sex, sexual preference, and the like, but I have a lot of friends who are a lot less open-minded — or maybe it’s just sexually uneducated — as I am.  Yet still, the conversation has become mainstream — taking the embarrassment out of the conversation.

These books fall under the same category as Sex and the City to me.  No, that series is not based on reality (I don’t know any writer living in New York City in such style as Carrie Bradshaw), but it made sex a topic of conversation between girlfriends, lovers, whomever.  I don’t care how fictional or how bad the writing is, if something makes people feel more comfortable with sex, their feelings, and talking about it, I refuse to believe it is a bad thing.

There are a lot of people who don’t agree with me.  But what harm does this book do to its audience?  Expose them to something typically taboo.  Educate them about different toys and safe-words?  None of that seems awful to me.

Now, one thing I can’t speak to is how the BDSM community feels about this book.  I doubt everyone involved in a BDSM relationship has had a traumatic upbringing or event in their life.  I imagine some people just like control, tying people up and inflicting a bit of pain/pleasure, and some people like to be controlled, like being tied up and like the pain/pleasure.  I also don’t know how feasible the change in the main character is in real life.  So, I can’t speak to the way the BDSM community feels about this book.  That would definitely be an interesting perspective, though, so if any of you are involved in the BDSM community and have read the book, please leave me a comment or email me to tell me what you thought.

Anyway, I thought the “Fifty Shades of Grey” series was great.  I wasn’t reading it for great writing.  I was reading it for a good story, and a wet pussy.  And that, it delivered.  


XOXO, Lilith Diana
Follow Lilith on Twitter @LilithDiana. 
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