THE ADVENTURES IN FINDING "THE" ORGASM! Part 2
By Tiffany Masters
After two hours of bonding with the ladies in my girlfriend’s living room, where a dozen women threw every curious question they had to Sex Expert – C. LaRae, I gathered some interesting information to report about finding “The” orgasm.
Q: What percentage of women have “The Big O” through intercourse alone?
A: The tragedy is that very few women have an orgasm from just regular intercourse, and this makes them think there’s something wrong – after all, the women in porn always have loud, amazing orgasms during intercourse. The reality is that we need more than just a few minutes of in and out to get us off. Women need 15-20 minutes of “foreplay.” This can be as simple as starting with prolonged eye contact and soft touches up the back of your arm or hot passionate kisses. Whatever turns you on, you need it to literally get the blood flowing to your vulva, and therefore increasing the size of your clitoris. And speaking of the clit, it’s not just that tiny little external button area. The FMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) below, done in 2009, shows that the majority of the clitoris (yellow) is actually within the pelvis.
Q: Where is the “G-spot” and why is it such a mystery? Is it in the same place on every woman? What makes it so significant in sex? And do men have a “G-spot”? A: The G-Spot, also known as the Gräfenberg Spot, is a bean-shaped area 1 to 3 inches up the anterior (front) vaginal wall and is considered to be the female prostate. It can lead to strong sexual arousal when stimulated and possible female ejaculation. And although its existence is debated among the experts, women who have discovered it can attest to the strong erogenous feelings provoked by proper stimulation of this area. But why focus on the “G” spot and ignore the “A” or “U” spot? There is more than one area that can provide wonderful sexual experiences for women. Some exploration may be needed in order to locate these pleasure buttons, but think of all the fun you can have trying to find them. Yes, men have a G-Spot, which is his prostate.
Q: Is squirting real? A: Absolutely. It has been written about from early history, but please don’t confuse it with what you see in pornos called “squirting.” Female ejaculation fluid comes from the Skene’s gland and contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP), prostate-specific antigen (PSA), and also some glucose. It is NOT urine. Often women have a sense of “gushing” while feeling a release of pressure, but aren’t aware that this is female ejaculation. Most women report anywhere from a tablespoon to about half a coffee cup of release just prior to orgasm. Great sex should be hot, sweaty and WET!
Q: What are the different variations of orgasms? Which are most common? A: There are 11 types of orgasms for women. Isn’t it a shame that so many women aren’t even having one? Clitoral, Vaginal, G-Spot, A-Spot, U-Spot, Deep Posterior Fornix, Anal, Oral, Breast, Skin, and Mental. Of course, any of these can be blended or in multiples. Women are amazingly sexual beings. They can have so many different types of orgasms, multiple orgasms without a refractory period, and the clitoris has no other purpose than to provide sexual pleasure.
Q: Why is it easier to climax with a vibrator than with a man? How much is physical and how much is mental? A: The key for women to learn how to orgasm is through masturbation. She can explore what rhythm, speed, and how much pressure works for her, without worrying about her partner’s satisfaction. Women need to learn how to relax and “get out of their own heads,” let go of all their sexual hang-ups and body issues, and allow themselves to enjoy sex! Society needs to stop the good girl vs. whore mentality. Men need to slow down and savor the experience. Both partners need to stop focusing on the big “O”. Enjoy the ride and all the little pleasures along the way, if you want to have GREAT sex.
FMRI Photo courtesy of the Museum of Sex