By Frank Ariveso
Photo Courtesy: New Line Cinema's "The Notebook" (known as one of the most romantic films)
“When we describe love and sexual passion, we use the word ‘intoxicating’
– and that’s a very important word,” Dr. Joseph Shrand, an Instructor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explains. “There is dopamine involved in that sort of lustful attraction. When we are falling in love with someone, all we can think about is that person…it’s a remarkable, remarkable feeling and it’s a pleasure. But dopamine alone won’t bind you to someone. That’s the province of oxytocin, which has been called “ the cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin creates a feeling of warmth, security, bonding and trust. It’s a much deeper, more powerful and a more modern part of love that’s released during birth, breastfeeding and during orgasm.
There is a basic biological difference between the male and female brain that makes it impossible for a man and a woman to share equal emotional or intellectual qualities. “Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain,” writes Louann Brizendine, a Professor of Psychiatry at UCSF. “Not only that, but beginning in their teens, they produce 20 to 25-fold more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence. If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex. All that testosterone drives the:
— that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts.
I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance,” Professor Brizendine continues. “But the truth is, they can’t. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods. To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he’s dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we females look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain’s attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we’re still fuming, he’s deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, ‘What’s wrong?’ We say, ‘Nothing.’ He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he’ll leave us for another woman.”
“The best advice I have for women is:
Make peace with the male brain. Let men be men.”
When it comes to intimacy, men and women practically speak a different language – yet communication is one of the biggest keys to unlocking the mystery of some of the most mind-blowing sex ever. Creating a dialog about your personal world of sex and sharing your most intimate fantasies with your lover is the path to a deeper, richer bond and sexual partnership. Not only must we peel back the layers of your own inhibitions, but even more importantly, we really have to listen to one another, without judgment, to the secret desires and needs to satisfy them completely.
The needs of a man are drastically different from those of a woman. A man tends to feel his most loved, secure and confident, when he knows his lover craves him sexually. A woman wants an emotional connection and intimacy with her partner, and when that relationship is nurtured, both partners experience a happier, and more fulfilled sex life.
Intimacy is more than physical desire – it’s really learning about your partner. Intimacy is talking, sharing feelings, hopes and dreams for each other. It’s learning what makes him tick, what ticks him off, what pushes his buttons and what delightful buttons to push. And it’s knowing what makes her cry, and whether the cry is a happy or sad cry. It’s learning that if you want something, you have to ask for it.
Something as simple as having a picnic and relaxing sharing food, or a candle and soft music playing in the background, or a nice bottle of wine will help to get both sexes in the mood. A lace bra or sexy thong says: “I’m interested.” Romantic sex is all about starting off softly, and taking your sweet time.
Both genders agree on the mutually desirable traits of kindness, sense of humor, a beautiful smile and sexual chemistry.
Some partners send as many as 500 texts a day to each other. The more couples texted, the more it replaced other forms of communication. A study found that the more texting that took place, the less satisfied the couple was and the less committed to their relationship they were.
On the other hand, a romantic study performed at the University of Rochester, New York, proved that watching romantic comedies together helped to keep the love alive. After three years, 24% of the couples that didn’t watch the romantic-comedy films together divorced, while only 11% of the couples split that had viewed romantic-comedies together.
“Does it really matter what these affectionate people do? So long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!” —Mrs. Patrick Campbell
“If you control someone’s sexuality, you control them completely.” —Dr. Ted McIlvenna / Methodist Minister
“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” —Marilyn Monroe
“There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex; they should draw the line at goats.” —Sir Elton John
“Sexiness wears thin after awhile and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” —Joanne Woodward
• Kissing is considered sexual in many cultures.
• Lips are 100 times more sensitive than
• Lips are even more sensitive than the genitals.
• It’s possible for a woman to reach an orgasm
• Two thirds of people tip their heads to the right
side when they kiss.
• Kissing someone for one minute burns about 2
• Kissing keeps your mouth clean and reduces tooth decay.
• Two people kiss and exchange anywhere from 10-million to 1-billion bacteria.
• Kissing someone is more sanitary than shaking hands.
• Manchu tribe moms used to suck on their child’s penis in public to show affection.
• Longest kiss ever recorded: 58 hours, 35 minutes and 58 seconds.
RESPECT AND TRUST - OPENS THE GATES TO A RICHLY REWARDING AND ROMANTIC SEX LIFE
By Laura Michaels
Intimacy isn’t always found through sex –
but it tends to be the little things that can add up that get our hearts racing and sexual energy piqued. You may not realize it, but to achieve the most rewarding sex, it requires respect and trust, above all. It’s that reassuring feeling that they’ve “got your back,” and that your innermost secrets are safe and can be trusted in their hands. That is the ultimate turn-on.
TURN-ONS – IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS…
• MY SUPERHERO It’s a mutual respect that is gained when both partners help out with cleaning, cooking, picking up groceries… The quicker it’s done, the longer you’ll have lingering over each other’s bodies.
• SEXY VOICE Some couples sing opera to each other to avoid a discussion turning into a full-blown fight. The deep resonance of a man’s voice is a turn-on to women, representing dominance and strength. When women keep their tone in a sultry, sexy manner, (the 800#-voice) it’s almost impossible for their man to think of anything but sex.
• HANDS Women subconsciously see men’s hands as the bigger, the stronger, the better. They’re looking to be protected. When that big, scary spider comes out from behind the fridge, women subconsciously are turned-on by the man in their life that kills it with his bare hands, or a broom works, too. Men, too, feel sexy when they are in the dominant position, acting as the strong leader when given respect by their women.
• PRIVACY Allowing some distance and sprucing up secretly for your sexual adventures keeps the romance and sex alive. And allowing the space to be the strong individual you are, both in and away from the home, creates a strong foundation that is reliable, respectful and can be surprisingly racy.
From flirty texts to sexting – romance has only become more complicated in today’s technology. Single ladies may have it the toughest – whether it’s okay to text him first, or if sending Emojis are making you come across as cute and interested or leachy and creepy.
SINGLE GIRLS – FLIRTY TEXT “ICEBREAKERS”
“Any chance you’re into (photo of event flyer)?”
A Blank Text can open the doors to sometimes an innocent and accidental conversation – from “Oops, accident. How are things going with you, though?” – to “I started to write you a text about grabbing a cup of coffee, got distracted, and… Rain Check on that?”
Author Victor Hugo explains it best: “The first symptoms of true love in a young man is timidity; in a girl it is boldness.” So it’s okay for ladies to be bold and drop some hints next time you dare to text your love interest.
Sexting can be one of the best icebreakers, or one of the worst ideas ever. Tread lightly before hitting “send” of your sexiest nude selfie you ever took. Sexting can also spice up your sex life with your lover, or close the door on ever getting a date. Sexting your spouse can be a great way to liven things up – but if you have kids and you’re over age 30, just remember: These youngsters “Turn Up” way before any of us parents have even hit our device’s unlock button (meaning: make sure you’re alone, and your phone is on you at all times if you’re looking to sneak in a little sexy sexting time with your spouse while he or she is away from home.
SPICING UP THE SEX LIFE
• SHARING IN EROTIC NOVELS
Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin
X by Nicholas Baker (Monica Lewinsky gifted a copy to President Clinton)
The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A.N. Roquelaire (that’s the author Ann Rice)
Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill (formed the basis for the erotic film, Secretary)
Story of O by Pauline Réage
...and for the darker side, any of the writings by Marquis de Sade
• BOUDOIR PICTORIAL
A growing trend for brides-to-be is to set up a boudoir photo session with an experienced photographer who knows how to make you look and feel like a sexual goddess. This event not only translates to added self-confidence in the lovely lady, but is a major turn-on for the men. Add to it the taboo of keeping the photos locked tightly in a private chest for only the two of you – and you have a sexy secret that will always get you both in the mood.
• FANTASIZE, PLAY OUT THEIR FANTASY – OR JUST TALK ABOUT IT
Fantasies are sometimes just that, and they need not ever be a reality. But if you and your partner are truly ready to spice things up and are prepared to take it up a notch, engage in playing out both of your fantasies. Even just talking about your wildest fantasy that’s just too racy to play out – can be a huge turn-on.
• SUNTAN AT A NUDE BEACH
• DARE TO BE RISKY
The feeling of being at-risk of getting caught while having sex in public is a surefire adrenaline booster.
• CHANGE UP THE SEX CLOCK
If you partake in morning wood, move the action to the evening or an after-lunch romp, and vice versa.
• HIT THE STRIP CLUB
If the woman is very confident in her own body and you both are in the right mindset, hitting a strip club can be a way to get out of the mundane and a new and exciting turn-on for your love life. Couples can share in a hot lap dance and bring that sexy feeling back for some amazing sex at home.
• GO NATURAL
Hit a nudist or naturalistic camp. There are even “clothing optional” vacations for those who could use to get a little more comfortable in their own skin.
• CHECK OUT SOME OF THE EROTIC FILM CLASSICS
9 1/2 Weeks (Mickey Rourke, Kim Basinger)
Body Heat (William Hurt, Kathleen Turner)
Unfaithful (Richard Gere, Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez)
Last Tango in Paris (Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider)
Sliver (Sharon Stone, William Baldwin and Tom Berenger)
Blue Velvet (Isabella Rossellini, Kyle MacLachlan and Dennis Hopper)
The Postman Always Rings Twice (Jack Nicholson, Jessica Lange)
Revenge (Kevin Costner, Madeline Stowe, Anthony Quinn)
Two Moon Junction (Sherilyn Fenn, Richard Tyson)
• SPONTANEOUS SEX
Almost everyone has a secret bucket list of the best places for a spontaneous intimate experience they are looking to accomplish. Sometimes you want to liven up your love life, create a new memory, or just enjoy being a couple. Either way, the following best places for spontaneous intimacy are just a few starter ideas to get you going. Make sure you have fun, be safe, and most importantly, get your needs met!
Top Spots for Spontaneous Sex:
PARKING LOT UNDER A BRIDGE
PUBLIC RESTROOM DISNEYLAND
MIDDLE OF THE WOODS
LIMOUSINE LAUNDRY ROOM
BALCONY OR DECK ON A BOAT
BACK OF A PICKUP TRUCK
ON A ROOF
ON A BEACH
Sex is a Primal Human Need
By Jack Wellington
The human sexual “need” for sex is so strong, that men and women will find it anywhere they can. Dating, dancing, and escort services have now become a higher, more expensive way to find sex for hire, and in most cases, have replaced streetwalking. Call girls now invest in smart phones, and most of them blend in with the young female tourists that love to wear the sexiest outfits they can find. This “sex for sale” involves a consensual exchange for money, as opposed to nonconsensual sex practices that include rape, pedophilia or sex trafficking of underage girls and boys, or illegal aliens, who are forced to work against their will.
A study conducted for the U.S. Justice Department of sex trafficking in the U.S. ranked Atlanta, Georgia, as the top sex trafficking city, followed by Miami, Washington, D.C., and Seattle. Atlanta criminals had revenue from the sex trade business that was larger than the illegal drug and gun trade combined there. Alarmingly, in Newark, New Jersey, one-report claims that 57% of prostitutes are reportedly HIV positive.
Sydney Biddle, known as the Mayflower Madam, offered up beautiful women to the elite in the 1980’s. The Hollywood Madam, Heidi Fleiss, had a little black book of famous and wealthy clients before she was busted in 1997. In 1990, Congressman Barney Frank admitted to paying for sex. The House of Representatives simply just reprimanded him. In 2008, Eliot Spitzer resigned as Governor of New York, because there were alleged reports he was a client of an international prostitution ring. From the wealthy and powerful to the men and women traveling with their jobs, from tourists to the everyday Johns, there has always been and always will be a market for sex.
The number one reason for a man going to a hooker or an escort is a spontaneous desire to satisfy an urge for sex. Number two is to experience a certain racial or sexual fetish. Coming in third is that they’re unhappy with the sex their wives are giving them back home. In America, prostitutes are busted by these arrest record percentages: 70% female prostitutes and madams, 20% male prostitutes and pimps, and 10% johns. This costs taxpayers over $200 million. The Super Bowl weekend sporting event has the largest demand for commercial sex trade of the whole year. Although, at any type of sporting event, convention, or anywhere there are a lot of men, a lot of money, or where there’s a lot of alcohol – there is always going to be a high demand for women who will serve them their “Happy Ending.”
Legal bordellos operate in parts of Nevada, as do massage parlors, escort services, strip clubs and other sexual venues. Dennis Hof, owner of Nevada’s Moonlite Bunny Ranch, claims that prostitution generates $18 billion yearly. E. L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey book has sold over 60 million copies. And according to several estimates, there are nearly 25-million porn sites worldwide. Pornography and sex paraphernalia are successful businesses generating huge sums of money. Movies and entertainers are inexorably moving in the direction of X-rated products, thinly disguised as R-rated to attract the younger crowd. Shows in Las Vegas make no effort to conceal their sexiness and boast of their nearly nakedness and naughtiness, attracting large crowds paying top dollar. People want and need sex. The sad truth is that, as a society, in most parts of the country, we still keep it in the dark, and this leads to the unsavory business of illicit sex trafficking. Maybe Las Vegas should think about making prostitution legal, make the women get tested, and thus allowing both partners to be relatively safe from HIV and STDs.
ANIMALS AND SEX
• Male pandas have low sex drives, so zookeepers in China have started showing panda porn to pandas that are in captivity. 60% now have sex, up from 25%.
• The dragonfly’s penis has a shovel on the end to scoop out a rival male’s semen.
• Upon losing battles, apes will tend to masturbate.
• Chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest quickies, lasting three seconds.
• Most giraffes are bisexual. 75-94% of the time, males mate with other males.
• Pigs and hogs have corkscrew-shaped penises.
• Average sexual intercourse between minks lasts eight hours.
THE PENIS: Most women say men are too hung-up on penis size.
Average erect penis length: 5.2” to 6.4”.
World’s largest penis: 13.5” long and 6.25” in circumference (medically verified).
Penis was once a clitoris: Every penis starts out as a clitoris before the hormone wash occurs, determining the sex of the baby.
Lorena Bobbitt effect: After cutting off her husband’s penis, copycat cases caused a worldwide phenomenon with over 100 cases reported in Thailand alone. One wife in India attached her husband’s cut-off member to a helium balloon.
Masturbation: 60% of men say they masturbate, and 54% masturbate daily.
Ejaculations during a lifetime: 7,200 times.
Total volume of semen during a lifetime of ejaculations: Approx. 14 gallons.
Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 5.
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.
Speed of an erotic sensation traveling from skin to brain: 156 mph.
Big Cheating Balls: Supposedly men with larger testicles are more likely to cheat.
Funky Spunk: Asparagus, red meat and dairy are foods reported to result in an unpleasant flavor in ejaculate.
Scents that increase blood flow to penis: Licorice, chocolate, lavender, doughnuts and pumpkin pie.
THE VAGINA: The creator of life and portal of pleasure.
Largest Vagina: From 1846-1888, the 7’8” Scottish temptress, Anna Swan, delivered the largest baby recorded in world history, a 26-pounder.
Smallest Vagina: Medical records show some vaginas at less than an inch in depth, but about one in 5,000 female babies are born without a vagina. Surgeons are now able to correct this.
Vaginal Farts: “Queefs” or “Varts” can happen to almost all women during sex.
Clitoris versus Penis: The clitoris has twice as many nerve endings, with 8,000 versus the less sensitive penis with 4,000.
Penis Stranglers: Certain women have vaginal muscles so strong, they can clamp down on the penis head so firmly, that it can’t be withdrawn from the vagina.
Most Orgasms: World record is 134 times in one hour.
The Scent of a Woman: Foods that create pleasant smelling/tasting vagina: pineapples, apples, watermelon, strawberries, and drinking lots of water.
INTERESTING SEX FACTS
• Women who read romance novels have twice as many lovers.
• Two out of three runners say they fantasize about sex while running.
• Coffee drinkers have sex more fre-quently than non-coffee drinkers.
• White women with college degrees are most likely to have anal sex.
• 75% of Japanese women own a vibrator.
• Humans, the bonobos chimp, and dolphins are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.
• Women consider penis size the ninth most important feature for a man.