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Aunt Sharron Column - 1113

LIVE FROM VEGAS — WITH AUNTIE SHARRON
By Auntie Sharron

Aloha Ladies and Gents:
There is an extreme problem with a new landlord on the southwest corner of Harmon and Paradise in Vegas. Rumor has it the liquor store across from Hard Rock is moving. The new landlord from NYC is trying to jack up the rent! Businesses have long-term leases, and he doesn’t seem to care. Oh, well, Mr. Landlord, you fight Clark County law and Clark County will win. No threats from the underworld, or Jesus for that matter, just lay off the tenants!

Tommy Ricardo and his son have taken over The Boulevard Theater on Las Vegas Boulevard and have renamed it The TW Theatre. It will be home to Tommy Wind, have an ultra-lounge/club and host special events and concerts. Tommy, the young blond magician from Staten Island, is oh-so handsome! Speaking of handsome: Reminder Jay-Z and Beyonce will be in Vegas this December.

Chem trails, conspiracy theories, shootings, muggings at Big Mac… no wonder planet earth is known as the insane asylum of the Universe. Christmas is near, time to buy a new Harley, spa package at Madame Et Monsieur, rent a jet plane from Vegas Express Jets, fly high in the sky with Las Vegas Balloon Rides, or just stocking shop at a cool thrift store. For goodness sake, remember to turn your f*cking blinker on when turning, and don’t text while driving. Also, if you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. My favorite quote: “Some days you are the dog and some days you are the tree.”

Questions from our readers to Auntie Sharron!

Dear Auntie Sharron,
Help, I want to win the million-dollar lottery, so I can get a new face and body. I’m smart, funny, independent, own my home, car, educated, and 35 years old. I weigh 135, 5’ 8”, blonde, but Ugly. Help!

Dear Ugly,
What is wrong with you, honey? What you’re looking for cannot be taken care of by winning the lottery. Send me your photo and I will find you a man that loves women for who they are on the inside. Remember the song: “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life – Never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view – Get an ugly girl to marry you.” You are in demand! Oi-vey!

Dear Auntie Sharron,
I went to the car mechanic and he charged me $700 for a tune-up and oil change, who do I report this ripoff to? ~Miss Lexus

Dear Lexus,
I pity the mechanic that did that to you. I will personally go to the Better Business Bureau for you and report them for you. Send me the receipt, business name and phone number.

If you have any questions on anything, contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., Subject: Question for you, Auntie. Safe driving. Remember: Love your kids, keep animals safe and hug a tree, and send me your photo for “Face the Camera” coming soon. Listen to Auntie Sharron Mondays 4-6pm, on “Nation to Nation”, the voice of intuition and reason at VegasAllNetRadio.com – and read my blog at AuntieSharron.com. Aloha!

—Auntie Sharron

Aunt Sharron Column - 1013

LIVE FROM VEGAS —
WITH AUNTIE SHARRON
By Auntie Sharron

Hello locals, tourists, strippers, dealers, players, artists, ladies of the night, the famous, infamous and wannabees – this is your Auntie Sharron – Live from Vegas, keeping life real!

In my upcoming columns here in STRIPLV, you will be reading about celebrities such as the Counting Cars (superstars of reality TV), Kid Rock, Beyonce, the fabulous singer Denise Fuleihan who has performed as a background singer with James Brown and Tina Turner, and so much more.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Fantasy Camp is a new venue in Vegas that can bring out that rock ‘n roll star in you. It was exhilarating being onstage with real rockers.

There are rumors of more Reality Shows being produced in Vegas! Even Jesus is soliciting for actors for movies on a billboard on Sahara on the south side of the street before the I-15.

Matt Stable, producer of X Burlesque and Raack N Roll, is now launching a new show, X Rocks, at the Rio. World champion racecar driver, Gene Woods, is preparing to bring race fans some real one-on-one experiences with drivers. Oh, enough gossip. Let’s go to – drumroll please:

Questions from our readers to Auntie Sharron!

Dear Auntie Sharron,
My boyfriend is back from Iraq. He wants me to do a booty dance, what is that?
—Unknown

Dear Unknown,
Your Booty is the word for a-hole, which is the word for your behind. Oh, girlfriend, if you are a girl, or if you are a boy, what it means is to shake that thing. Go to Ross, get a thong and play some funky music and give that soldier a great time.

Dear Auntie Sharron,
I’m so lonely and blue and wish I could meet someone other than at the bars. What is in my future?
—Lonely and Blue

Dear Lonely and Blue,
Your future is simple. First, take care of your blueness – color your hair blue. Next, go to Albertson’s, to the meat department, or better yet, the bakery, and watch for a guy who catches your eye, and walk up and ask him, “Excuse me, would you like to share a piece of me, I mean a piece of cake with me?” If he says, “Yes,” smile and take his number. Do not give him your number! And if he says, “No,” just smile and give him the finger...” LOL
 
REMINDER: Ladies, check your tires, water and oil on your car today.
And Gentlemen, if you want to keep your lady, treat her like a lady.

Send questions to my blog: www.AuntieSharron.com and listen to me every Monday 4-6pm, nation to nation on: VegasAllNetRadio.com

Salutation, life and people are my business. Hug your kid, buy a thong, protect your animals, and kiss a tree – till next month.
—Auntie Sharron

   

—Auntie Sharron

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