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PLEASED TO MEET YOU - A VIRTUAL GUIDE TO HAND JOBS

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PLEASED TO MEET YOU - A VIRTUAL GUIDE TO HAND JOBS

By Lainie Speiser

My husband and I go through a lot of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream, not because we are obsessed with skin care, but because it’s David’s special, deluxe hand job treatment.  Pleased to meet you, my name is Lainie Speiser and I am an adult entertainment/lifestyle publicist and the author of six books, mostly devoted to helping couples boost their sex life.  I have written about threesomes, role play, blow jobs, and I only write about what I know, like most seasoned writers will recommend you do.  So now I’m obsessed with hand jobs, I think hand jobs are the new blow jobs, especially for that career gal on the go. 

I discovered David’s love of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream when we first started dating.  Like most nosey women, who are sleeping with someone new, I enjoy looking through the medicine cabinet; it’s the window to your partner’s soul … or day-to-day habits.  The medicine cabinet hold the secrets, Tums and Pepto?  Your man either has either a nervous tummy or he overindulges at dinner.  Multiple bottles of vitamins instead of the one multi you take at home?  He’s either a hypochondriac or a health fanatic. I saw baby oil, Vaseline, hand cream and Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream in David’s medicine cabinet and the sexpert in me knew; this guy likes to lube up when he jacks it to porn with everything but actual products made for it like Astroglide or KY. 

“This is some high-end lubricant you’ve got here,” I said to David.  “I use Elizabeth Arden too, but I actually put it on my face, and a little dab will do you.”   I’m not sure 

how he discovered that this concentrated, odd-smelling cream could add a high intensity to his private time, but I’m guessing he got the idea from rummaging through someone else’s medicine cabinet.  “That’s right, baby, nothing but the best for Willie (his name for his dick), why don’t you try some on him right now?”  Never one to say no to a new experience I did and I see the appeal it’s as thick as honey and feels just as sweet.  It also takes a while to clean off, especially mixed in with semen

I have a friend who produced a website that no longer exists called, “Please Him and Feed Him,” it basically taught women how to keep their husbands happy through sex and food, and one of her suggestions was to wake up your man every morning with a

blow job.  Not bad advice at all, but in the last few years with the pressures of running my own business I admit I haven’t been my usual sexually enthusiastic self.  David will wake up and put my hand on Willie, and so I take over and give my man a hand because hand jobs are a busy gal’s best friend, because while I’m stroking, I can use this time to prepare for my day while giving attention to the person who deserves it the most.  

I’ve always preached that sex is a great Zen place to go when you’re tense or agitated. It’s a simple task that gives you a sense of accomplishment, and while you’re doing it, you can escape into a quiet, calm place.  Some people use yoga or meditation; I use hand jobs to relax and go to my happy place.  I take some Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream and stroke it to completion.  Sometimes I plan my day while I’m doing it.  When your hand is busy you’d be surprised how your mind can clear.  “I have to write three press releases, finish writing those thank you cards, get a mani-pedi and go to SiriusXM at five,” I will tick off my to-do list with hard cock in my hand, and the harder I think the faster I stroke, I get into the rhythm and go back and forth and back in forth until David yells, “Stop, stop, stop I’m done!”  I guess your dick feels extra sensitive if you keep going after you’ve come.  Admittedly I like being a little mean in my sex practices, too. 

Why else is having hand job skill beneficial?  When he says he’s too tired, knowing how to stroke a dick comes in handy, no pun intended.  It’s fun taking a soft penis in your hand and making it hard and veiny, and by then he will usually say fuck it, I’m horny and pull down your panties.  You don’t have to always use lubrication; I’ve known plenty a dry jerker in my past.  You take the soft penis in your hand, give it a firm squeeze, and then you move the skin up and down.  I say, move the skin, not the dick; it’s on their pretty good, but you don’t want him to feel like you’re going to rip his prized possession off.  While you’re stroking allow him to let his hands wander all over your body, and if you position yourself right he can even finger you while you’re doing it, a big bonus. 

Positioning is everything when you want to give a hand job to completion.  If you’re laying down in bed and just reaching over to give a rub and tug, you’re going to get tired very quickly because you’re holding up your whole arm going back and forth.  You want to be in it for the long haul, because unless your partner is still in school (legal I hope), he’s not going to explode within the first minute.  Men feel as much pressure to come as women do, if not more so because they are always expected to do it.  The more pressure he feels, the harder it will be and the softer he will get.   I enjoy sitting up in a comfortable position where my hand and arm won’t get tired or sore right away. 

I don’t stare at the dick that I’m stroking, I don’t know why I guess it’s that theory of staring at a clock won’t make time go faster.  It’s one of those activities where you enjoy your other senses taking over.  I get so into what I’m doing that I zone out, I couldn’t tell you what I’m looking at, or if my eyes are closed.  I know what I’m doing by the feel of the cock and the way his entire body is reacting.  When I start to feel the tension in his body, when his legs start to shake and his dick is one big rigid bullet I know we are close to blast off, and then I look, because it’s just fun to see a come shot, we all know that. 

You know what’s really romantic?  Cleaning up afterward.  After I’m feeling happy and smug from my job well done, I trot into the bathroom, run a washcloth under some warm water, trot back out and clean off the jizz.  It makes a man feel loved, and you, in turn, make sure your bed doesn’t look like a crime scene.

Remember, no job is worth doing if you’re not going to take pride in it and do it right from start to finish.

 

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Brooklyn Seltzer Boys bottles

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Brooklyn Seltzer Company

Let’s face it we are officially living in the Jetsons.  You can filter your face just like Jane did when she got a video phone call and lifted that mask to her face, and soon self-driving cars will be an actual thing.  I think that’s why that little hashtag #ThrowbackThursday became a thing.  Shiny, new is fun, but history makes us nostalgic.  Brooklyn Seltzer Company is bringing back that Jewish New York tradition of putting out the empty seltzer bottles for the seltzer guy to collect, clean, and refill with quality filtered water Brooklyn style.  A good seltzer should have a bite that hit’s you in the back of the throat.  In the spirit of how the water is why NYC pizza and bread just taste better the seltzer from these fine Brooklyn boys is filtered from water in lakes from around the New York area. With strategic partnerships with big brands like Absolut, these guys are making some noise and hope to be nationwide very soon.  brooklynseltzerboys.com

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Roberto Cavalli Is Bringing the 70’s Back

With patterned jackets, and solid patterned pants.  You might feel like you are being transported into the movie Saturday Night Fever but don’t worry the Bee Gees won’t be lurking around the corner.  The rock n- roll designers at Roberto Cavalli want you to embrace the finger pointing dance-style soon.  robertocavalli.com

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Jammy Packs

This Urban backpack is designed for the minimalist on the move.  It has a padded laptop sleeve with two small mesh pockets for your phone and or battery pack.  It also features 2 cargo pockets on the side with grommets so you can easily run your cords through and store your phone in an easy access area.   The front pocket is a blue tooth speaker so you can play your tunes wherever you are.  jammypack.com

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Mstrmind Collective Slim Wallet

This slim wallet is a practical modern wallet.  Just slightly larger than a single credit card, it sits only an 1/8 of an inch thick, weighs just half an ounce, and leaves an almost unseen imprint in either your front or back pocket.  Made from fine Italian leather with an ergonomic thumb slot for quick-swipe capability.  mstrmndcollective.com 

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Jeep CJ66

Take a Jeep Wrangler TJ frame, hang a 1966 Jeep Wrangler CJ universal Tuxedo Park body on it, add in Wrangler JK elements and fuel it with new Mopar-powered products revealed at the Mopar SEMA press event, and you’ve got the Jeep CJ66.

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Yeezy Bomber Jacket

The Weekend wears the bomber jacket trend right.  Yeah we've had some Kanye issues in the past, but this bomber is worth rocking in those cold evenings ahead.  yeezysupply.com
 

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Ralph Lauren Wool V-Neck Sweater

Italian merino wool makes this Polo Ralph Lauren pullover a luxe layering piece for cool temperatures.  She will want to cuddle up to you close at the ski lodge.  

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DOC MARTENS

Yes, it’s time to dust off your old Seattle record collection and not fear to don your Docs again.  Who knew these heavy clod-hoppers would fall into fashion's favor again.  

Remember to give yourself a week or four to break these solid boots in.  zappos.com

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Gwyneth Paltrow donned the LA PERLA suit while attending the Goop and La Perla Celebrating the Opening of goop GIFT.  The actress was joined by Kate Hudson, Demi Moore, Rumer Willis, Jennifer Meyer, Monique Lhuillier, Jenni Kayne, Kelly Sawyer, Mario Carbone, Marlien Reentmeester, Estee Stanley, Eric Buterbaugh, Amanda Elian and Julia Haart.

GOOP AND LA PERLA CELEBRATE GOOP GIFT

Photography: John Salangsang

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If you are looking to really and truly be a part of the Striplv Army, then you need to gear up!  Striplv Shirts are made with an ultra-soft 

material that all our models rave about.  It’s the perfect gift.  Show her that you think that she is just as gorgeous as all the models in our pages. 

It’s your chance to buy the record direct from our publisher and tell the world about your favorite magazine.  Different sizes are 

available, visit our store today at striplvapp.com.

MASTERING MEDITATION FOR MIND-BLOWING SEX

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MASTERING MEDITATION FOR MIND-BLOWING SEX

The mind and sex are so intrinsically linked that many experts are now recommending meditation techniques to improve the quality of their client’s romps in the bedroom.

Think about it.  Most of us have stress, frustration, and woes.  Meditation as a form of stress relief is a common remedy for everyday stressors, add that same technique with your partner and mind blowing sex is in your future.  When you feel incredibly stressed out, are you in the mood for sex?  More than likely that’s when you pass on a good roll in the hay.  Are you feeling fatigued, not enough sleep?  That’s not a big sexual motivator either.  In fact, that’s the number one reasons couples aren’t having sex per top therapists.  Scientist’s studying the brain have found that the euphoric state reached while meditating releases the same dopamine as an incredible orgasm.  That euphoria is also and all natural stimulant to the body.  Perking up yet?

So how do you get to all that euphoria and incorporate this into your life?  Here are few tips to help you get started.

Meditate 

Commit at least 5 minutes a day to trying meditation.  There are plenty of guided meditations available on YouTube if you feel stuck on how to begin.  If that feels a bit silly or doesn’t help you focus, then simply find a quiet space where you can sit for five minutes, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing and the sensations in your body.

Mindful Masturbation

Set aside some real time for yourself.  Start by taking cleansings breaths and do your best to clear your mind.  Then start exploring your body.  How does it feel when you caress your face, rub your body, and or play with your nipples?  Try and focus on every sensation and what part of your body feels best while you pleasure it.  Feel free to bring a toy into this process if you like.  If you want to bring your partner in on this practice, have them in the same room watching, paying attention to how your body moves as you work it into climax.  Maybe considering blindfolding, yourself to immerse you deeper into a meditative state.  When you do reach orgasm, continue your cleansing breaths and allow yourself to truly enjoy the experience.  Share the feelings and the experience with your partner.  Find some real sexual truths with them and share which parts of your body helped you to orgasm.

Feel Each Other’s Bodies 

Have your partner join you in the bedroom and get into the bed with you nude.  Spend at least 10 minutes just touching each other’s bodies without having any sex.  Breathe deeply, and slowing feel your partner’s body.  When and what part of the body makes them writhe with pleasure?  Massage their temples and try and feel what is in their mind.  Do they feel truly relaxed?  Are they giving in to just feeling?  Meditation is about focusing the brain in the present moment, and this is no different.  Be a mindful of them, their body, and how their body responds to you.  

Bringing it into The Bedroom

First and foremost, take the pressure off.  The goal isn’t just to climax and be done with the whole thing.  Set some time with your partner where you aren’t rushed, when it’s quiet, and you can truly try to focus on each other.  Start as slowly as possible try and vibe your partner as best you can.  Give plenty of foreplay and caresses before you get to the act itself.  Feel your partner’s rhythm, and thrust slowly.  Try matching your breathing with your movements.  Then see if you can connect with your lover’s brain using your mirror neurons, which are like tiny boomerangs emitted from your brain to partner’s creating an almost psychic connection.  Be as present and tuned in as you can.  It might take a few practice sessions for either of you to even reach orgasm, but that isn’t really what this is all about.  Does it feel good?  Keep with that feeling until bigger and bigger sensations quake throughout your bodies.

The bottom line is to be open to a deeper connection in your relationship.  Giving into these feelings, and truly opening up to them is something that will only enrich your love and hopefully open you up to some pretty earth shaking climaxes.

HOW DONALD TRUMP WON THE U.S. PRESIDENCY

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How Donald Trump won the U.S. Presidency

By Howard T. Brody and Louis Mamo

When Donald J. Trump threw his hat into the political arena in June 2015 and declared that he was running for the Presidency of the United States of America, very few people, including one of the two authors of this article, took him seriously.

For eighteen months politicians poked fun at him.  Newspapers and news networks admonished and ridiculed him.  Comedians and TV hosts mocked him.  In many cases, they had good reason to.  The Donald, it seemed, had no filter.  He bluntly said what was on his mind in public and no matter how controversial the subject, he would replicate that mindset on Twitter.  For many, he seemed like he was doing everything he could do to NOT get elected. 

Still, in the early morning hours of Wednesday, November 9, 2016, when the smoke cleared, the New York real estate tycoon who was considered a joke going into the campaign, had the last laugh coming out of it. Billionaire Donald J. Trump was the President-elect.

But how did he do it?

How did Trump, a man with absolutely no public service experience, zero political experience, and no verbal filter whatsoever, actually win the presidency?

Sure, we could do what all the political analysts have done to date and examine the numbers. We can take a look at the demographics, the charts, the maps and the trends, and draw a viable explanation for how Trump was able to beat the odds and win an election he should never have been part of.  Or, we can look at the cause of what enabled him to get involved in the first place.

For nearly 30 years Trump played with the idea of running for president.  In 1987 he considered a run but backed out when he got strapped in dealing with large debts caused by his Atlantic City Taj Mahal casino purchase.  Thirteen years later Trump entered the 2000 race as a candidate of the Reform Party.  Before dropping out, he received more than 15,000 votes in that party’s California primary.  Then in 2003, just as he was beginning his stint on “The Apprentice,” he again contemplated a presidential run, but eventually decided not to participate.  In 2008, he briefly talked of running, but he balked and stood on the sidelines, endorsing Democratic contender Hillary Clinton in the process.  By 2011, two years after the Tea Party movement seemed to have split the Republican Party, Trump toyed with the idea again; especially after a Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll showed him leading all other presidential hopefuls.  When he ultimately decided not to run, Trump, who had publicly considered himself a Democrat, seemingly switched allegiances and endorsed Republican candidate Mitt Romney.

By 2015, Trump saw something apparent in the American public that most candidates did not and he turned that hunch into a legitimate campaign.  This time, however, instead of running for a small party or even as an Independent candidate, he chose to go the mainstream route and focused his efforts on the Republican Party.  

Even though there were more than a dozen candidates who would vie for the top of the Republican ticket, Trump saw an opportunity in that the country had become more verbally dissatisfied with the Obama administration than before and that the Republican Party was still split and really had no a clear-cut leader among its field of potential candidates. 

While the pollsters and pundits wrote him off, Trump gambled that the general public was sick and tired of the political establishment.  After all, eight years earlier Barrack Obama, a junior politician, won an election based on the premise that real change would come to Washington.  While many changes did, in fact, 

take place during the Obama administration, some good some bad, the political reform behind those changes never did come to pass, and to the masses, it was simply political business as usual.

For the most part, Trump understood that disillusionment with Washington.  With the Tea Party still fresh in the minds of many registered Republican voters, and the fact that Trump was a genuine political outsider, the eagerness for change over complacency trumped all other political factors and enabled the Donald to pick off the candidates one by one.

Going into the primaries, pollsters, and polished journalists were picking former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, Texas Senator Ted Cruz and Florida Senator Marco Rubio as the Republican favorites.  What nobody counted on was that Trump’s unabashed style would resonate with so many people.  He said things that would normally never be said in public, and when he did it, while some people cringed, others found it refreshing because they thought they finally had a candidate who, although might be full of himself, wasn’t full of shit.  Whether he would win or lose, Donald Trump was the proverbial straw that stirred the drink that was the Republican Party.

While Trump was able the garner more primary votes than any Republican candidate in history (13.4 million), he also had more votes against him in the primaries than any Republican candidate in history (16.6 million). This can be attributed to many independents coming out to vote Republican as well as many Democrats who switched parties.  By the same token, the Democratic Party was also suffering from what could best be described as an  anti-candidate syndrome.  Clinton, who won the Democratic nomination, amassed 15.8 million votes compared to Bernie Sanders, who compiled 12 million.  Considering the total number of votes cast during the Democratic primary in 2016 was down about 9 million from 2008 and that 43% of the votes were cast for a candidate that proclaimed himself to be a Socialist, illustrated just how divided the country became.  While Clinton topped Sanders by 3 million popular votes, some people, including Trump, claimed the system was “rigged” and that Sanders never really had a chance against Clinton because she was able to secure 572 of the 712 superdelegates prior to the primaries. 

For example:

In Alaska, both candidates scored one superdelegate each, despite the fact that Sanders won the state by an 82-18 margin.

In Utah, where Sanders won by a 79-20 margin, two of the state’s four superdelegates backed Clinton.

In Washington State, while Sanders crushed Clinton by a 73-27 margin, Clinton had 10 of 16 superdelegates while Sanders had none.

In Minnesota even though Sanders won the state’s caucus by a 62-38 margin, 11 of 16 superdelegates supported Clinton.

In Wisconsin, where the Vermont Senator won the Badger State’s -primary by 14 points, only one superdelegate supported Sanders while 10 backed Clinton.

In Rhode Island, all nine superdelegates supported Clinton, even though Sanders defeated the former Secretary of State by a 12-point margin.

To many, it was that disparity and disconnection which prompted Trump to claim that the elections were “rigged” and that the system needed overhauling.  When the Presidential election was over, and some of the Millennials began protesting the outcome, many believe Sanders would have been more electable than Clinton and perhaps could have beaten Trump head-to-head. 

While that is nothing but speculation at this point, in hindsight some will say Trump succeeded in his bid to become President by awakening a popular movement of anger and frustration among white, blue-collar, less educated, mostly male, voters, particularly in non-urban areas by promising them jobs, safe borders, and dignity, thus prompting them to respond by turning out in droves at his pre-election rallies and eventually the ballot box, carrying him to victory, others will say he won because Clinton was less attractive to the traditional Democratic base of urban, minorities, and more educated voters.

Even the outgoing POTUS had a take on how Trump won.  In an interview with Rolling Stone, Obama was asked if he still believed the U.S. was a “progressive country” following Trump’s election.  Like many he pointed out the Democrats’ failure to reach working-class white voters, as he had won the 2008 and 2012 elections.  “In this election, [they] turned out in huge numbers for Trump,” Obama said. “And I think that part of it has to do with our inability, our failure, to reach those voters effectively.  Part of it is Fox News in every bar and restaurant in big chunks of the country, but part of it is also Democrats not working at a grassroots level, being in there, showing up, making arguments.  That part of the critique of the Democratic Party is accurate. We spend a lot of time focused on international policy and national policy and less time being on the ground.  And when we’re on the ground, we do well. This is why I won Iowa.”

However you choose to analyze the outcome, for many of those who participated in the vote, this election wasn’t about who was the best candidate for the job, it became a vote against the person people didn’t want to see in the White House.

On the one side there was the Washington outsider, who was touted as being a homophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, sexual predator and racist, and on the other side there was the established politician who was riddled with her own closet skeletons including questions about her health, the 2012 Benghazi attack, the 2016 Democratic National Committee email leak, the Clinton Foundation–State Department controversy, the John Podesta emails, and the private email server issue, ensuing FBI investigation and potential indictment that hung over her head. 

Many believe the negative advertisements used against Trump by the Clinton campaign, which were non-stop and brutal, actually backfired. The Clinton strategists used every harmful comment that Trump made during the election cycle against him, including the now infamous “grab them by the pussy” comment he made years ago regarding women. What they didn’t consider was that people didn’t want to hear or see the negative ads anymore as that was considered 

didn’t want to hear or see the negative ads anymore as that was considered standard operating procedures for Washington politicians.

But that wasn’t the only strategy that backfired on Hillary’s campaign. Instead of fighting in the trenches for the minority vote herself, Clinton relied too much on President Obama to do the talking for her.  After Obama invited members of Black Lives Matter – which was funded by billionaire Clinton supporter George Soros through his Open Society Foundation – to the White House in an effort to ease escalating racial tensions between the black community and law enforcement, many law enforcement supporters became disenchanted with the President, feeling that he was doing more harm than good and ultimately promoting divisiveness between the two sides.  When Milwaukee, Wisconsin County Sherriff David A. Clark, Jr., an African-American male, called Black Lives Matter a terrorist group on Fox News, CNN, and other media outlets, it did irreparable harm to the Clinton campaign as they did not count on the backlash against them and that Trump would garner an overwhelming amount of support from the law enforcement community. 

In addition, while Clinton’s poll numbers were at an all-time low for trustworthiness, by Obama being on the campaign trail and touting her as perhaps the most qualified candidate of all time, it made him look foolish; especially considering that many of the accusations Trump was hurling at Clinton during the campaign were the same that Obama accused her of eight years earlier.   With Trump supporters being able to post those old videos of Obama questioning Clinton’s ethics that were on YouTube to such sites as Facebook, it killed his credibility. Combining that with the fact that voters did not want to see the President himself out on the trail knocking a candidate in the manner Obama was doing to Trump, it ended up working against Clinton and playing into Donald’s favor.

If that weren’t bad enough, another black eye to the Clinton campaign was when the undercover video came out that showed two DNC strategists – Robert Creamer (founder of Democracy Advocates) and Scott Foval (national field director of Americans United for Change) – discussing voter fraud and their roles in planting paid agitators at campaign events for Trump.

But to many, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when Fox Business News host Stuart Varney reported on a story that he complained was getting “no media play at all, except here.” It was a video clip of a November 4 interview with millennial Latino outlet mitú in which President Obama appeared to have encouraged illegals to vote, promising “no repercussions if they do.” In the aftermath of that controversy, several mainstream media outlets claimed the piece was edited to be specifically deceptive.  Even with all this, going into Election Day, the analysts were still showing Clinton with the lead.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the election booth; the pollsters got it wrong, and at the end of the day, it didn’t matter what either of the two candidates said or did.  Those who voted for Trump or against Clinton looked past his flaws and foibles and those who voted for Clinton and against Trump did the same thing.  While those who backed their candidates saw nothing wrong with anything they did or said, many took the path of voting for the lesser of two evils.

So, years from now when historians look back and ask how did Donald J. Trump win the U.S. Presidency?  Love him or hate him, it will probably go something like this…

When President Trump initially ran for POTUS, he went against the grain by speaking his mind, telling people what they wanted to hear, took his battles with the media public, broke all the rules of campaigning, rewrote some new campaign rules and above all out-smarted and out-politicked every pollster, pundit, and politician who stood in his path.

 

 

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