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HOT BUTTERED POPCORN - 31 DAYS OF HOLIDAY MOVIES

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HOT BUTTERED POPCORN -  31 DAYS OF HOLIDAY MOVIES

By Howard T. Brody

We’re at that time of the year again when the holiday spirit begins to fill the air, and all we want to do is relax, spend some time with our loved ones, have a good, hearty meal and watch some of our favorite holiday flicks on the tube.

In the old days, you’d have to wait for broadcast stations and cable networks to play your favorites. Sometimes you’d catch them and sometimes you didn’t. But now, with the ability to order DVDs overnight and use video on demand services as NetFlix, Hulu Plus, Amazon Prime, YouTube Red, HBO Go, Vimeo, Daily Motion and countless others (not to mention the fact that just about every cable TV provider offers a similar service) you can pretty much watch any holiday offering you want at any time you choose.

So, for your viewing pleasure, we have compiled a list of a little more than 30 films that you can watch between Thanksgiving and Christmas to put you in the holiday spirit. Be forewarned; your favorite might not have made our list as we couldn’t possibly list every holiday movie.

Here’s how to read the listings: Name of the Film (year it was released) time of film in minutes. The audience score, which is the percentage of filmgoers who have rated this movie 3.5 stars or higher on the Rotten Tomatoes Web site. All films are live-action scripted movies unless noted otherwise, e.g., Animation or Documentary. D: Director. W: Writer(s). St: Studio. S: Stars. The 411: What you need to know about the movie. [MPAA Rating]

So, without any further adieu and hoping you have your hot buttered popcorn ready, here’s our must-see movie list.

A Christmas Story (1983) 93m. 88%. D: Bob Clark. W: Leigh Brown, Bob Clark, and Jean Shepherd. St: MGM. S: Peter Billingsley, Darren McGavin, and Melinda Dillon. The 411: You can take shoot your eye out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Never put your tongue on a metal pole when it’s freezing outside. It’s okay to eat Chinese food on Christmas Eve. [PG]

Addams Family Values (1993) 94m. 62%. D: Barry Sonnenfeld. W: Paul Rudnick. St: Paramount. S: Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Joan Cusack, Christina Ricci, Carol Kane, Jimmy Workman, and Carel Struycken. The 411: There’s a new baby on the way and a serial killer loose. Wednesday is cast as Pocahontas for a Thanksgiving play. They’re still creepy, and they’re still kooky, and they’re still not as good as their TV original counterparts, but they’re darn close. [PG-13]

Avalon (1990) 126m. 77%. D/W: Barry Levinson. St: Sony Pictures. S: Armin Mueller-Stahl, Elizabeth Perkins, Joan Plowright and Aidan Quinn. The 411: It’s okay to be a Russian Jewish immigrant living in Baltimore. Jews have family fights at Thanksgiving dinners just like non-Jews do. It won’t kill your father if you choose not to follow in his career footsteps. [PG]

Babes in Toyland (aka March of the Wooden Soldiers) (1934) 77m. 79%. D: Gus Meins and Charles Rogers. W: Frank Butler and Nick Grinde. St: MGM. S: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlotte Henry, Felix Knight, Henry Kleinbach, Florence Roberts and Virginia Karns. The 411: A rich old man will forgive debt in order to hook up with a hot young woman. Pignapping will get you cast off to Bogeyland. There’s a big difference between 600 toy soldiers at one-foot tall and 100 toy soldiers at six-feet tall. [NR]

Bad Santa (2003) 91m. 75%. D: Terry Zwigoff. W: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa, and Terry Zwigoff. St: Miramax. S: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Lauren Graham, Brett Kelly, Lauren Tom, John Ritter and Bernie Mac. The 411: A proper background check could reveal that your temporary Santa and his elf helper are professional thieves. Mall Santas can be sex-addicted alcoholics. All can be forgiven if you confess your bad deeds in a letter. [R]

Broadway Danny Rose (1984) 86m. 84%. D/W: Woody Allen. St: Orion Pictures. S: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, and Nick Apollo Forte. The 411: It’s okay for several comedians to tell a story in the form of flashbacks. Love triangles that involve the mob are somewhat complicated. Theatrical agents that represent unorthodox, unsuccessful entertainers and acts will host Thanksgiving dinner parties for those same clients. [PG]

Die Hard (1988) 114m. 94%. D: John McTiernan. W: Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza. St: 20th Century Fox. S: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Alexander Godunov, Bonnie Bedelia and Reginald VelJohnson. The 411: Don’t screw with a New York City detective while he’s vacationing in Los Angeles. Is it possible to really know what a TV dinner feels like? Never take off your shoes at a Christmas party. [R] Bingeworthy: With four sequels to choose from – Die Hard 2 (1990), Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995), Live Free or Die Hard (2007) and A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) – pick one or all of them to truly have a John McClane holiday. “Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker!”

Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) 105m. 55%. D: Ron Howard. W: Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman. St: Universal. S: Jim Carrey, Jeffrey Tambor, Christine Baranski, Bill Irwin and Molly Shannon. The 411: It’s okay to be different. Don’t try to deceive others, especially those who care for you. No matter how hard you try, you cannot destroy the true meaning of Christmas. [PG]

Elf (2003) 107m. 78%. D: Jon Favreau. W: David Berenbaum and Jon Favreau. St: New Line Cinema. S: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, Mary Steenburgen and Zooey Deschanel. The 411: You don’t have to be small in stature to have the heart and spirit of an elf. Santa is real, and every day should feel like Christmas. Don’t chew gum that is left on a New York City subway entrance. [PG]

Free Birds (2013) 91m. 44%. Animation. D: Jimmy Hayward. W: John J. Strauss, Jimmy Hayward, and Scott Mosier. St: Reel FX Creative Studios / Relativity Media. S: Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson, and Amy Poehler. The 411: Turkeys do not like Thanksgiving. You don’t necessarily have to commit a crime in order to be pardoned by the President of the United States. You don’t have to be human to operate a time machine. [PG]

Grumpy Old Men (1993) 103m. 74%. D: Donald Petrie. W: Mark Steven Johnson. St: Warner Brothers S: Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret, Burgess Meredith, Darryl Hannah and Kevin Pollak. The 411: Old guys can get old hot chicks. No matter how many air fresheners you hang from a rearview mirror, you cannot get rid of the smell of a dead fish. They’re still an odd couple, and they still have on-screen chemistry. [PG-13]

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) 103m. 90%. D/W: Woody Allen. St: Orion Pictures. S: Woody Allen, Michael Caine, Mia Farrow, Carrie Fisher, Barbara Hershey, Lloyd Nolan, Maureen O’Sullivan, Daniel Stern, Max von Sydow and Dianne Wiest. The 411: It’s okay to use family Thanksgiving get-togethers as a setting to start and end relationships. Not having children may harm a marriage but having children won’t necessarily save a marriage. Allen knows how to weave three stories into one brilliantly. [PG-13]

Home Alone (1990) 103m. 79%. D: Chris Columbus. W: John Hughes. St: 20th Century Fox. S: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard and Catherine O’Hara. The 411: You can go on vacation to Paris and leave your youngest son home without any repercussions of being charged with child neglect. Aftershave stings even when you don’t shave. An 8-year-old boy is smarter than two would-be burglars.  [PG]

Home for the Holidays (1995) 103m. 72%. D: Jodie Foster. W: W.D. Richter and Chris Radant. St: Paramount Pictures. S: Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Dylan McDermott, Geraldine Chaplin, Steve Guttenberg, Claire Danes, Cynthia Stevenson and Charles Durning. The 411: Losing your job right before Thanksgiving sucks. No matter how old you are, your parents will treat you like a child. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reveal your personal problems and quirks to the rest of the family. [PG-13]

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 135m. 95%. D: Frank Capra. W: Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Jo Swerling and Frank Capra. St: RKO Pictures. S: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore and Henry Travers. The 411: Someone is always listening, especially on Christmas Eve. Guardian angels aren’t supposed to drink. Bert and Ernie aren’t Muppets. Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. [PG]

Jingle All the Way (1997) 88m. 38%. D: Brian Levant. W: Randy Kornfield. St: 20th Century Fox. S: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jake Lloyd, Curtis Armstrong, Robert Conrad and Jim Belushi. The 411: A Turbo-Man action figure is the most important toy ever. Dads will do anything for their kids. All are easily forgiven when people ultimately get what they need and not necessarily what they want. [PG]

Miracle on 34th Street (1947) 96m. 87%. D/W: George Seaton. St: 20th Century Fox. S: Maureen O’Hara, John Payne, Natalie Wood and Edmund Gwenn. The 411: When children no longer believe, a department store Santa Claus can restore their faith. Putting Kris Kringle on trial could be political suicide. Only the real Santa could get two bitter business rivals to reconcile their ongoing feud. [NR]

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 97m. 86%. D: Jeremiah Chechik. W: John Hughes. St: Warner Brothers. S: Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Miriam Flynn, Juliette Lewis, Johnny Galecki, John Randolph and Diane Ladd. The 411: Always check a Christmas tree for squirrels before you start decorating. A free year’s membership in the Jelly of the Month Club is not an appropriate Christmas bonus. It’s okay to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” as part of a Thanksgiving blessing for the turkey. [PG-13]

Pieces of April (2003) 80m. 73%. D/W: Peter Hedges. St: United Artists. S: Katie Holmes, Derek Luke, Sean Hayes, Alison Pill, Oliver Platt and Patricia Clarkson. The 411: Always wear a new suit to make a good first impression. You can’t go wrong with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Having Thanksgiving dinner together is important, especially for dysfunctional families. [PG-13]

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) 92m. 87%. D/W: John Hughes. St: Paramount Pictures. S: Steve Martin and John Candy. The 411: Try to get home for Thanksgiving dinner with the family no matter what it takes. Those aren’t pillows! Not everyone has a family to spend Thanksgiving with. [R]

Rocky (1976) 119m. 69%. D: John G. Avildsen. W: Sylvester Stallone.  St: United Artists. S: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers and Burgess Meredith. The 411: When an opportunity presents itself seize the moment. When Thanksgiving dinner is ruined, it’s okay to go ice skating. Sometimes going the distance is good enough because being a failure is a frame of mind. [PG]

Scrooged (1988) 100m. 70%. D: Richard Donner. W: Mitch Glazer and Michael O’Donoghue. St: Paramount Pictures. S: Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, Bobcat Goldthwait, Carol Kane, Robert Mitchum, Michael J. Pollard and Alfre Woodard. The 411: Never forget where you came from. There are more important things to life than conducting business. Beware of spirits who drive taxicabs. [PG-13] Bingeworthy: Since this is based on A Christmas Carol, pick a version (or two) and watch them together. You can be an adult and watch the 1938 version with Reginald Owen, the 1951 adaptation with Alastair Sim, or you can act like a kid and go with 1992’s The Muppet Christmas Carol, 120m, 85% [G]. Any will do.

Stalag 17 (1953) 120m. 93%. D: Billy Wilder. W: Billy Wilder and Edwin Blum. St: Paramount Pictures. S: William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck, Peter Graves, Sig Ruman, Neville Brand and Richard Erdman. The 411: Finance companies will send you past due notices even if you’re a Prisoner of War. It pays to run a racket in order to keep the enemy in check. When you’re having dinner in Berlin, it’s lunchtime in Cleveland. [NR]

The Blind Side (2009) 129m. 85%. D/W: John Lee Hancock. St: Warner Brothers. S: Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, Jae Head, Lily Collins, Ray McKinnon and Kathy Bates. The 411: It’s okay to open your home as well as your heart. For some, adoption can be a lifeline. Sometimes a Thanksgiving family dinner can be a life-changing event. [PG-13]

The Last Waltz (1978) 117m. 94%. Documentary. D: Martin Scorsese. St: MGM.S: The Band and more than a dozen iconic music legends including Bob Dylan, Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton, Muddy Waters, and Van Morrison. The 411: The Band’s farewell concert which took place at Madison Square Garden on Thanksgiving 1976. [PG]

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) 76m. 91%. Animation. D: Tim Burton and Henry Selick. W: Tim Burton, Caroline Thompson, and Michael McDowell.  St: Touchstone Pictures. S: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page and Ed Ivory. The 411: Monsters, ghosts, ghouls, and zombies deserve to celebrate Christmas too. Even a “Pumpkin King” can grow tired of the same routine year after year. Halloween Town is a nice place to visit – for Halloween – but you wouldn’t want to live there. [PG]

The Santa Clause (1994) 97m. 65%. D: John Pasquin. W: Leo Benvenuti, Steve Rudnick, and Karey Kirkpatrick. St: Walt Disney Pictures. S: Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, Eric Lloyd, Larry Brandenburg and David Krumholtz. The 411: Always clarify the terms of a contract before agreeing to it. Snow globes can be magical. If you believe in Santa, you might finally get that Oscar Mayer Weenie Whistle you wanted. [PG]

White Christmas (1954) 120m. 88%. D: Michael Curtiz. W: Norman Krasna, Norman Panama, and Melvin Frank. St: Paramount Pictures. S: Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen. The 411: Military men stick together, even after a war. All it takes is a couple of phone calls and knowing the right people to pull off a national television broadcast from Vermont. There’s nothing quite like a white Christmas. [G]

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971) 98m. 86%. D: Mel Stuart. W: David Seltzer and Roald Dahl. St: Paramount Pictures. S: Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, and Peter Ostrum. The 411: Finding a winning ticket doesn’t make you a winner. The Candy Man can ‘cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. In the end being honest is what makes you a real winner. [G]

You’ve Got Mail (1998) 119m. 73%. D: Nora Ephron. W: Nora Ephron, Delia Ephron, and Miklós László. St: Warner Brothers. S: Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The 411: Mega bookstores are evil while independent bookstores are good. If you go shopping in a specialty food store on Thanksgiving be sure to bring cash. It’s okay to fall in love with a business rival through email. [PG]

Bingeworthy

Because several movies on our list are part of franchises and therefore have sequels, with the exception of the Die Hard film franchise and a couple of the Rocky movies which take place around the holidays, none of the other films are really “binge-worthy” whether we’re talking about the several Home Alone sequels, Grumpier Old Men (1995) or even last year’s Bad Santa 2. So, if you really want to watch The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), and we recommend you don’t, go ahead and punish yourself.

In the meantime, we’ve compiled a short list of movies you should watch together.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973) 25m, 74%, [NR] and A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) 25m, 86%, [NR]. If you want to feel like a kid again while keeping your adult perspective, these are the two to watch together as Charles Schultz knew how to write for both kids and adults. While Bill Melendez and Phil Roman directed Christmas together, Melendez went solo with Thanksgiving.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) 53m, 83%, [NR], Frosty the Snowman (1969) 25m, 72%, [NR] and Santa Clause is Comin’ to Town (1970) 53m, 81%, [NR] are a trio of Rankin/Bass stop-motion animation TV specials that feature an amazing array of top actors and voice actors of the day: Burl Ives, Billie Mae Richards, Stan Francis and Paul Kligman (Rudolph); Jimmy Durante, Billy De Wolfe, Jackie Vernon, Paul Frees and June Foray (Frosty); and Fred Astaire, Mickey Rooney, Keenan Wynn, Joan Gardner, Paul Frees and Robie Lester (Santa).

If you’ve been bad all year and want to punish yourself, here are a couple of really terrible holiday movies that should come with a can of cranberry sauce because they are real turkeys!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) 81m. 27%. D: Nicholas Webster. W: Paul Jacobson and Glenville Mareth. St: Embassy Pictures. S: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck and Bill McCutcheon. The 411: It’s okay for Martians to be familiar with Yiddish terms. It is not okay for Martian children to watch Earth television. A young Pia Zadora makes her acting debut. [PG]

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) 108m. 66%. D: Jeannot Szwarc. W: David Newman and Leslie Newman. St: TriStar Pictures. S: Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Judy Cornwell and Burgess Meredith. The 411: After Ilya Salkind helped bring Superman to the silver screen in 1978 with the tagline “You’ll believe a man can fly,” he thought he could make people believe a sleigh could fly with this abomination. Great idea. Great cast. Horrible execution. [PG]

And if you’ve been really bad . . .

Would a list in STRIPLV be complete without any adult content? Here are a few holiday-themed adult videos you may want to check out. And hopefully after watching these that is still butter on the popcorn.

How the Grinch Gaped Christmas (2014) 96m. D/W: Joanna Angel. St: Burning Angel Entertainment. S: Joanna Angel, Amber Ivy, Krissie Dee and others. The 411: According to the promotional info on this spoof, ‘Tis the season to gape. Whoville in this video is Whoreville, and apparently, every whore in Whoreville loved Christmas except the Grinch (a female), who lived just north of Whoreville and who supposedly hadn’t been laid in quite some time. [X]

The Nightmare Before XXXMas (2015) D/W: Joanna Angel. St: Burning Angel Entertainment. S: Small Hands and Joanna Angel.  The 411: Sally is a horny ragdoll. Jack has a “Christmas Package.” They fuck, and that’s about it. Despite the expense at special effects, it’s pretty bad parody porn at its best – or would that be at its worst? [X]

This Isn’t Christmas Vacation: The XXX Parody (2010) 127m. D: Sammy Slater. St: Devil’s Films. S: Carolyn Reese, Emma Heart, Tweety Valentine, Melanie Rios, Sonny Hicks, Alec Knight, Marco Rivera, Anthony Rosano. The 411: The gang’s all here – Clark and Elen Dickwald, Audrey and Rusty, even cousin Eddy and his wife. [X]

Tits a Wonderful Life (1994) 86m. D: Mitch Spinelli. W: Bosley DeLongprez. St: Cal Vista Video. S: Lisa Ann, Lynn LeMay, Jordan Lee, Nikki Sinn, Vince Vouyer, Alex Sanders and others. The Plot and more: A naked guardian angel assists a hopeless gangster by showing him how life would have turned out if he was never born. The movie taglines were “George Bailey eat your heart out” and “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets...” [X]

DOING DAT THANG

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DOING DAT THANG

By Lainie Speiser

At this writing, I have just completed promoting August Anal Awareness Month. It’s a real thing devoted to all things “in da butt,” as I call it after the late 80s hit, Da Butt, by E.U. I used August Anal Awareness Month to promote my clients who are anal experts such as my client Vicki Chase who has won many awards for her anal expertise. I also booked Dr. Andrew Kramer, a well-known urologist on “The SDR Show” who gave hosts Ralph Sutton and Big Jay Oakerson prostate exams. By the end of the month you’d think I’d have run this into the ground, but no, not at all, both men and women are endlessly fascinated by the inner workings of “da butt” and although Vicki Chase may have gotten bored of talking about it, not one radio show, podcast and website has. Anal is still one of the holy grails of sex. If you have met a woman who is not only open to it but very into it, I say keep her, she is a rosebud, literally.

I’ve written six books and covered many sex topics, threesomes, role play, blowjobs. I’ve gone deep with them all, except for anal. My history with anal has been spotty; it’s never made it on my top 10 of sex moves, and I didn’t even try it until I was 32 years old. I had a boyfriend who didn’t understand how a woman with an apple butt like mine would not want to give anal sex a try. Our relationship wasn’t the best one. It started out well, but by the time he was putting pressure on me to submit to anal sex, it became more of a test of wills. We both worked for the same porn magazine: he was an editor, and he even wrote fictionalized erotica about what my first time having anal with him would be like. It involved a lot of lube and my fretting about the size of his penis going into my tight pink butthole. He did the same thing when he was pressuring me into being with another girl with him watching and jerking off. In fact, if I ever wanted to know what this particular boyfriend wanted from me, all I had to do was read the advance copy of Gallery Magazine’s erotic story section, and I was grateful that I kept this relationship a secret from the entire staff for this reason.

I did eventually give in; I made a deal: I would have anal sex with him if he wore my black lace panties for an entire day. It was a sucker’s bet. Little did I know he enjoyed wearing my underwear and on a trip to upstate New York, I was slated to break my anal virginity. To prepare, I did what every girl should do: ask my gay male friends about it. My friend Paul, who was usually in the submissive role, told me he didn’t really indulge in anal sex that often unless the man was super hot and he was unbelievably turned on. My friend James, who was a top, had anal sex for the first time recently and said, “Bring some blow. It really helps open you up.” But I knew from experience that blow makes most men Mr. Softie, and I didn’t want to bring complications to this already tenuous situation. So, I smoked a bit of weed, had several cocktails, laid on my stomach and braced myself. What I felt was a slight, burning-stretching sensation and then pressure, the more he carefully pumped the more comfortable it got but make no mistake I was relieved when he came, and it was over.

But this wasn’t the last of our anal experimenting. This guy, like most bullies, was a secret submissive and we explored a lot of ass play on him, which I was happy to do given the alternative. So, I learned how to work a prostate with my fingers, tongue and a strap-on. The latter was when I discovered how hard men really do work for us; it was exhausting, and again, I was relieved when he came, and it was over. But once he got a taste for ass play there was no turning back. He implemented it into everything we did when we 69’ed and when I was riding him on top, I had to do a reach around and get my fingers in there. To say I was a good sport didn’t even cover it, and when we inevitably had a nasty break up, I said, “Good luck finding a woman who’s open to strap on action.”

The next time I had anal sex I was in my mid-30s in a really, gorgeous midtown Manhattan apartment with a man I met at a cigar bar who was in the winning business. I’m going to call this guy the name his friends did, The A Man, because he was famous for getting the ladies to not only agree to have anal sex but also enjoy it a great deal. The A Man was an attractive middle-aged man with thick salt and pepper hair, green eyes, and a beautiful body thanks to his big hobby of cycling. He was a smoothie; he didn’t push his agenda right away. He just fucked me stupid for hours, taking breaks for cigars, wine, and cheese and then continuing again.

The A Man knew how to loosen a lady up, literally, and when he got me on my back with my legs in the air, he slipped it in casually, with no muss or fuss. “Oh my god, this actually feels really good!” I remember saying, looking up at his happy, self-satisfied face. Truly, I was having a great time. He deserved his nickname, and I got lost in the moment. That is until I opened my eyes and saw The A Man talking on the phone while fucking me. “Bro I’m fucking this hot redhead with huge tits and she’s totally loving my dick in her ass,” and then he pointed the phone to me and said, “Tell him how much you love my dick in your ass, Lainie,” he said perfectly casual and normal. Now I hate when friends pass the phone to me to say hello to their family, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever and I didn’t like in this vulnerable position either. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shrieked and then out of nowhere managed a powerful orgasm. The A Man had no shame, and neither did I, but that was a bit too much, even for a freak like me, and never saw him again.

A year or so later, I found myself learning more about anal sex while writing Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars. A book where I interview 100 porn stars about their sex lives off camera. And while many women didn’t have anal sex on camera, most of them told me they loved it off camera. Anal sex in the porn world is something you save for a rainy day when you really want to make as much money as possible because your fans have been clamoring for it. Once you do it, you will never make that high rate again, so it’s very important that you negotiate a kick ass deal.  I talked to some women who can only achieve orgasm through anal sex, and other women told me it’s much easier to take the monster dick of say, the performer the legendary Mandingo, in da butt than in da puss. “There’s more room than you think back there,” said one porn star. “It’s a lot more comfortable to take 14 thick inches there.” When I interviewed porn star Sinnamon Love and confided in her about my own strange relationship with anal, she said, “Anal sex is so much better when you have double penetration, seriously that’s the best way to go.” She said the sensation of being airtight is like no other, and I thought about engaging in my own way, having a dildo in the front and the real thing in the back, but it never was that important to me. The overall message I learned in writing that book was if you want to explore your sexuality in a safe environment where everybody gets tested, then a career in porn may be for you.

The last time I engaged in anal sex, it was my idea, because I was having an intense fling with a hot man who was also a devout Christian and had never tried it before. Our whole sexual relationship was built on taboos, so I insisted he should at least try it once. This time I was the instructor, and after much foreplay and regular intercourse, I lubed my Christian Single up and walked him through the process, very slowly, and it was nice and intense. At the end of the day, what gets me off is what’s going on in my head. The idea of corrupting this sexy but safe person turned me on endlessly, we had a true passion for each other, and I was thrilled to be the woman who broke this boundary. But he didn’t come, he waited until I did, then asked if we could do it the regular way again, which for us was doggy-style. He later said, “I don’t know, why walk in the gutter when there’s a perfectly nice sidewalk right in front of you?” I don’t think anything on my body should be compared to a sewer, but I got the message. Perhaps one day if my publisher asks me to write “The Anal Sex Beginners Guide,” I might give it another chance but until then, I will restrict anal play to a tongue, which feels fantastic, but that’s another story.

LOVE IN A RIDESHARE: 7 IN 10 MILLENNIALS HAVE “HOOKED-UP” IN THE BACK SEAT

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Love in a Rideshare: in 10 Millennials Have “Hooked-Up” in the Back Seat

By Brionna Lewis

Have you ever gotten hot and heavy in the back of your Uber or Lyft ride? You’re not alone. As they say, there’s nothing new under the sun, including getting frisky in a car. From traditional drive-in movie action to Beyonce asking the limo driver to “roll up the partition,” back seat loving is probably as old as cars themselves. What is new? Rideshares. We were interested in seeing how the popularity of rideshares has changed romance in cars, so we surveyed 1,000 millennials in cities across the country to find out about their romantic encounters in rideshares.

Our findings are interesting

You may remember a few edgy 2011 posts from the Uber data blog. One of the posts highlighted the correlation of peak ridership and neighborhoods in San Francisco with the highest rates of prostitution, theft and alcohol-related crimes. In another post, Uber coined the term “Ride of Glory,” someone presumably taking an Uber home after a one-night stand:

“A RoGer is anyone who took a ride between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. on a Friday or Saturday night, and then took a second ride from within 1/10th of a mile of the previous nights’ drop-off point 4-6 hours later (enough for a quick night’s sleep).”

After facing a firestorm of criticism regarding privacy, heavy-handed PR tactics and attitudes towards women, Uber removed the post from its blog.

The Official Word

Uber:
As far as official policies go, Uber’s is pretty explicit. Their Community Guidelines state that the sexual and romantic behavior we found many riders engaging in could lead to the loss of access to Uber. “As our community guidelines make clear, you shouldn’t touch or flirt with other people in the car. As a reminder, Uber has a no sex rule. That’s no sexual conduct with drivers or fellow riders, no matter what. And you should never hit or otherwise hurt a driver or fellow passenger.”

Lyft:
While Lyft doesn’t have any explicit policies for this type of behavior, they encourage drivers to put their safety first, empowering them to cancel any ride if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. “You have the right to decide if you feel comfortable picking up a passenger. Your safety comes first. If you ever drive up to a passenger and you feel uncomfortable for safety reasons, let us know about it as soon as possible by tapping ‘Contact Support’ below. You may ask the passenger to cancel the ride, or cancel it yourself if they won’t.”

Our advice?

Riders participating in extracurricular activities in a rideshare should do so at their own risk. Brionna is on a roller coaster that only goes up. You can follow her on twitter @BrionnaLewis - https://instamotor.com/blog/love-rideshare-study

STRIPLV STYLE ISSUE 1117

STRIPLV STYLE ISSUE 1117

MCLAREN 570GT

McLaren is producing a limited edition of six 570GT cars that are inspired by the 1997 F1 XP GT Longtail homologation car. The Longtail in XP Green, which is mirrored in the limited edition, along with green interior inserts contrasting against the saddle tan leather. The 570GT is powered by a 3.8 liter twin-turbocharged V8 producing 562 hp and 443 lb-ft of torque.

ECHOPARK ‘59 DELUXE TV YELLOW

A beautifully designed double cutaway in a custom 1958 TV yellow finish, the Echopark ‘59 Deluxe is a modern take on a classic guitar.

The body consists of one single piece of Mahogany delivering a full rich tone with pleasing harmonic overtones. The neck has a D profile and is one piece equatorial mahogany with “full tension.” The fretboard is made of old stock Indian rosewood with Jescar medium frets.

The pickups include the classic ‘58 P-90 in the neck position for that classic warm tone. A ‘60 humbucker is installed in the bridge position to open up a range of tones from jazz to rock & roll. Both pickups controlled by a three-way selector switch for solo bridge, solo neck or the combination of the two. A single volume and tone control adjusts the overall tone and level of both pickups.

The headstock is loaded with Kluson single line tuners to help keep the guitar in tune no matter how hard you play. The Pigtails wraparound tailpiece also helps keep the guitar finely in tune and improves intonation. $4,250 available at vintageking.com

The Supro 1690T Coronado

is Supro’s top-of-the-line 1964 reissue Supro tube amplifier. True to the original, this luxurious 2×10, 35-watt combo delivers remarkable dynamic range with a clear, full sound. The Coronado maintains clean headroom throughout a large chunk of the volume control’s range, making it an excellent platform for a myriad of musical styles, from fat round jazz tones to country twang, stinging blues and— when ramped up to full throttle—raging rock & roll. $1,349 available at vintageking.com

Raw-edge T-shirt

T-shirt in soft jersey with a slightly wider, raw-edge neckline, raw-edge short sleeves, and a seam center back. Slightly longer and rounded at back. $12.99 available at hm.com

True Religion Geno Distressed Slim Straight Jeans

$80.15 available at dillards.com

Rancourt & Co WOLF BOOT HUCKBERRY EXCLUSIVE in Natural Chromexcel

In 2017 Rancourt celebrated their 50th anniversary of handcrafting some of the most handsome, hardest-working, USA-made shoes and boots in existence. The Wolf Boot starts with an American-made Chromexcel leather that’s tanned with bark and then hot stuffed with Horween’s secret blend of natural oils and greases. Once they pass the leather to Rancourt, their skilled shoemakers make each boot by hand, including cutting the leather, forming it to the last and stitching on the mini lug Vibram sole. The result is one of the best boots around, one that, with the proper care, you might find yourself handing down to the next generation with pride. $395 available at huckberry.com

AEO METAL CUFF

$12.95 available at ae.com

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